Tag Archives: Bible

Gay Cakes

The provocative title is more narrow than this editorial. I’m reading all of the rhetoric about baking cakes and making pizzas, and it occurs to me that some of you, at least, are on an agenda-driven adventure of missing the point. Completely.

There are several issues here. Some are civil. Some are religious.

Civil issue 1) Should a person of faith (or no faith) be required by the state to violate their conscience? I should say not. This is precisely what has been at issue since the Obama administration began to prosecute businesses that object to paying for abortofacients (drugs or other contraceptives that cause de facto abortions to occur). This is what is at issue when a business that bakes wedding cakes, does wedding photography or rents space is required by the government to do so for those who are plainly in violation of every religions traditional view of marriage.

Civil issue 2) Should a business person with any particular viewpoint be forced to trade or service those with whom they disagree. We see signs on restaurants (and similar establishments) that stay: “We Reserve the Right to Refuse Service to Anyone.” Is that acceptable? Not in the broadest interpretation, but it is done all of the time, and we don’t experience a media firestorm over it. That’s because this refusal is typically for an agreed upon good reason. For example, most of us would agree with a restaurant refusing to serve someone not wearing a shirt or shoes. However, there could be a civil rights lawsuit filed if the restaurant refused to serve someone because of their race or religion. This is the generalization that the left is seeking to make concerning issue 1 above. Refusing to serve a homosexual in your restaurant is not the same as refusing to cater their wedding. Anyone may enter a restaurant, order and eat. The restaurant is not perceived as condoning the lifestyle choice of every patron. However, catering a wedding may be perceived as tacitly or actively supporting, if not the couple, homosexual marriage.

Religious issue 1) From a Christian perspective, should I do business with openly gay people, adulterers, spousal or child abusers? I’m sure many will be offended that I’ve bundled these types of people together. For the record, I do not think consensual homosexuality is harmful in the same way as spousal or child abuse. What I want you to understand is, there are some people you don’t want to do business with because of their character or lifestyle. But should you? The argument I’m hearing from a number of Christians is the standard evangelical mantra. We should do it to witness to them. I would agree, if that’s your genuine motive. Jesus ate with tax collectors and sinners, both groups despised by the religious leadership of his day. However, Jesus was never accused of either sinning or extorting money from people (as the tax collectors were accused of doing). The Lord taught the truth and spoke honestly about the need for both the religious and the irreligious to change their thinking and change their ways. Often when a Christian does business or befriends someone who is living a lifestyle that openly defies biblical morality, we just look the other way. And that is why we have a godless nation today. Develop relationships with everyone, even those who don’t think the way you do, even those who oppose Christianity, and then openly share love, grace and truth. Jesus said, “Let your light so shine before people in such a way that they see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 5:16)

Religious issue 2) Should a Christian caterer or photographer (for example) do their work for a homosexual wedding? I’m not asking whether they should have a civil right to refuse, but whether, from a biblical standpoint, this business person should participate in such an event.

No, I do not believe a Christian has any business (pardon the unintended pun) supporting something so obviously against Christian morality and the Bible, and beyond that against the time honored traditions of every civilization and religion for 5,000 years. As a minister, I would go to jail rather than officiate a homosexual wedding. Now, you may think that I shouldn’t be forced to marry a gay/lesbian couple because I am a minister in a church. The case I would make is, every Christian is a representative of Christ and every one of us are ministers. I have done videography. I would refuse to do a gay/lesbian wedding. But let’s say a homosexual couple, “married” or not, approached me to do videography for one of their children’s sporting events or birthday parties. Would I take that job. Absolutely. Look at Religious issue 1 again. If I baked cakes, would I do so for the birthday of a vocal homosexual. Again, yes… unless, they ordered some sort of sexually explicit decoration (which I would refuse to do for a heterosexual as well).

Christian friends, you need to stop allowing the culture to make up your mind about these issues. You must stop being swayed by the opinions of your friends and relatives. As a disciple of Jesus I am shaped by his teaching, the Gospel, the Word of God, which is in the Christian canon of the Bible. Speak the truth in love, and love the people of the world as Christ who died to prove his love for the whole world (Ephesians 4:15, John 3:16).

Suicide and Christianity

If it means anything to be a Christian, anything beyond accepting Jesus as a mascot for kindness and civility, then being a Christian means thinking like the Jesus who is revealed in the New Testament. That Jesus lives on: he was raised from the dead and he lives in the hearts and minds of those who have submitted their wills to his lordship.

For those of us who live under the authority of Jesus Christ, who have surrendered our very selves to him, there is a different way of thinking which places at odds with a post-Christian culture. Indeed if we communicate this kind of Christian thinking in the marketplace today, we will encounter strident opposition from a growing segment of the population influenced by popular culture, even among those within “the church.”

I read today that a terminally ill 29 year old cancer patient committed suicide, and that is lauded as heroism by many, even by some who would call themselves “Christian.” Suicide is not heroic. It is selfish, and cowardly. However, I do not expect a world that rejects Jesus Christ and his way of thinking to agree with my assessment. For those who call Jesus their Lord, however, I have a different expectation.

Jesus people do not play God. When someone commits suicide that is precisely what they are doing, even if they have a terminal disease. The reality is, all of us have a terminal disease. We all live under the curse of death. Every single one of us will die. I did not give myself life. I did not decide the day of my birth. I do not have the authority to decide the day of my death. God does. God says, “Do not murder.” This applies to suicide. If you commit suicide you will answer for it in judgment.

But you may say” “You don’t understand. You are callous. You don’t know the pain this woman was in.” I do understand. I simply do not agree with this choice. More importantly, I am making the case that Jesus Christ disagrees with this choice. I am not callous. I have been in great pain. I have suffered emotionally and physically. I have had suicidal thoughts. Fear of God and respect for life has kept me from considering such thoughts.

What if I had cancer? God forbid it, but what if…? I know I would want to die peacefully, painlessly. I believe I would be tempted to take my life too. Sadly, the precedent is not being set by a 29 year old woman, but by the media who condones (perhaps even celebrates) euthanasia. It will make suicide a more viable option for others who are diagnosed with a terminal disease, or even those who suffer physical or emotional pain. Would it make it easier for me to do the same? I know I must face God in judgment. My life is not my own.

The Apostle Paul was facing execution at the hands of the Romans due to false accusations by his own people. He wrote from the equivalent of death row: “To live is Christ, to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21). He had reason to despair, but he continued to hope. He confesses that he’d prefer to die and meet Jesus. However, the Apostle was convinced he would continue to live and love.
“Knowing this, I am convinced that I will remain alive so I can continue to help all of you grow and experience the joy of your faith. And when I come to you again, you will have even more reason to take pride in Christ Jesus because of what he is doing through me” (Philippians 1:25-26, NLT).

A more contemporary example is found in Pope John Paul II. In his waning years the Pontiff suffered from Parkinson’s disease and osteoarthrosis. He had difficulty hearing and speaking. It was painful to observe him in public. However, John Paul II chose to press on as an example to everyone of how a Christian should bear up under suffering. This is an example we desperately need today. Christianity is not about getting everything we want in this life. It is not about the supreme value of freedom. It is not about being healthy, wealthy and wise. It is about denying myself, taking up my cross and following Jesus. Sooner or later that will mean following my Lord through the valley of the shadow of death, but even then I will not fear evil because He will be with me, to comfort and guide and bring me to the other side.

We must learn how to suffer. We must learn to place our hope in Christ’s gift of eternal life. We must learn to value life. Above all we must learn that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of all knowledge and wisdom. Acknowledging God in all of our thinking is vital. Too many Christians are influenced by contemporary culture more than the teaching and example of Jesus. Too many of us believe today’s talking heads and self-proclaimed experts above the Word of God. I don’t expect those who doubt the Bible and disbelieve in it’s God to agree with me. But you who claim to belong to Jesus must think differently. The world needs this contrast. For who will recognize that they are in the dark if they are not shown the light?

Fan or Fanatic?

When it comes to sports there are fans, and there are fanatics. I know, I know, “fan” comes from fanatic, but not all fans are created equal.

A simple fan enjoys watching their team compete and roots for them to win. This fan may feel a bit of a letdown when the team loses, but they don’t lose their temper, or any happiness, as a result.

A fanatic is different. This is the person who speaks in the first person plural when referring to the team. We won! Those officials are calling against us! The fanatic is possessive when it comes to the team. Yeah, those are my Boys!

This kind of behavior is seen with the simple fan at times too, but there is a difference. The simple fan doesn’t allow their emotional state to be determined by a team they don’t play for, don’t own, and cannot do anything to improve. Well, I suppose you improve the owner’s bottom line by spending money on tickets and paraphernalia, but that won’t make them play any differently.

Why are fanatics so, well, fanatical? One word: identification. The fanatic identifies with the team on a personal level. They are projecting their ego onto the field, or court. It’s not just a team, it’s my team, and that means it’s me out there. When my team wins, I win. I am a winner! But when my team loses, I am the one who got beat. I am mad. I feel lousy. I am not a loser!

Sports fanaticism (or celebrity fanaticism, which is another form of this) is an unhealthy sign that you don’t have anything more valuable to live for. Your life and happiness is dependent on a team you don’t play for (or a sport you probably don’t even play, even if you once did). Sad. Living vicariously (that is, through someone else) is not real life. You have a life. You have a purpose.

Purpose. Everyone needs a reason. It’s not an accident that Rick Warren’s book, The Purpose Driven Life has sold over 30 million copies. Is it a good book? Sure it is. Straight forward and biblical. But that’s probably not what got most of those people to buy the book. It’s what the title of the book promises: there is a purpose for your life. You have a purpose in life, and only God can show you what that truly is.

So, what is your purpose? Do you know? Have you been searching? Have you been asking yourself, or, better yet, asking God? Jesus said, “Ask and you will receive. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened” God has a plan for you. Seek Him for it, and don’t give up. Then pursue God’s purpose for you fanatically!

There first purpose for all people made in the image of God is to re-establish a connection to their Creator. That happens through Jesus Christ. “To as many as received Him he gave the right to be called children of God, even to those who called on His name” (John 1:12). The “Him” in that Bible verse is Jesus Christ, the Son of God. He lived, died and rose from death so that you and I can be a part of His family and have a relationship with God as our Father. Once that relationship is established, I spend the rest of my life becoming more like the Jesus, which prepares me to live forever in the presence of my Father.

There are specifics to this for your particular life. You have a calling. You were created to do something on earth, something special. Ask, seek, knock, and start living life on purpose.

If you’re living vicariously through the Cowboys, Longhorns, Mavericks, or even the NBA champion Spurs, you’re going to get let down. Even if your team stays on top, that has nothing to do with you. You didn’t put them there. You’re not there with them. You didn’t play, recruit, coach or do anything, except pay them to entertain you. Stop living your life for people who don’t know you or care about you. Enjoy your sport; watch your favorite team play. Now go and live your life for something more meaningful.

Suicide and Salvation

I write this in the wake of the reported suicide of Robin Williams. Many of us are shocked, and many who battle depression have empathy for him. Everyone should have sympathy, and no one offer condemnation. However, it is very important to realize that suicide is not the answer to peace or escape.

There is a very dangerous belief shared by many Americans when death occurs. I’ve heard it at many funerals, and you’ll hear variations of it as people talk about Robin Williams or others who’ve died, whether by their own hand or in another way. Theologians call the belief in question, “universalism,” which means all people are going to heaven, or to “a better place.” Sadly, I must report the truth, however: everyone who dies will not go to a better place. I realize fully that this is neither comforting nor popular. However, if you are comforting yourself and others at the price of perpetuating a lie, then you are buying a little comfort at the price of eternal pain. If you want to know the truth, then you need to go to the Bible, which is God’s message to humankind.

The Bible teaches the following. Everyone dies. Everyone will be judged by God. “It is appointed for everyone once to die and then comes judgment (Hebrews 9:27). Not everyone will be in heaven. “Anyone whose name was not found written in the Lamb’s Book of Life was thrown into the Lake of Fire with the Devil and his angels” (Revelation 20:15). You will be judged. Only those with their names in the book spoken of will go to heaven. How would you know?

Actually, you get to choose one of two destinations, but only two. Either you choose to spend eternity with God in heaven, or to be eternally separated from God, which is hell. There is not a third option. There is no purgatory mentioned in the Bible, even though the Roman Catholic church has developed such a doctrine. Heaven is not a place of your own making, the realization of your fantasies, or the reward of living a good life (even if that were possible on your own).

Appropriately, Robin Williams was in a movie about heaven once. The 1998 release “What Dreams May Come” was based on a 1978 book of the same title by Richard Matheson, The concept of heaven is not one you’ll find in the Bible; instead, it depicts a sort of dream heaven that might be nearer to the idea many share, or, at least, wish for. In the movie heaven is essentially the living out of one’s wishes and desires. This is a “heaven” without God, or perhaps, more accurately, a heaven of one’s own making, so I am my own god. In the film Robin Williams plays the main character, Chris Nielsen, who dies in a car accident and is led through his heaven by a “friendly spirit” (Cuba Gooding Jr.). Chris’s wife, Ann (Annabella Sciorra), commits suicide and lives on in her own self-made hell (the antithesis of this concept of heaven). Chris saves his wife in the end. This kind of thinking has displaced the Bible in our culture and that gives more room for people who are considering suicide to believe they will be in a “better place.” 

Williams may have been inclined to believe in some form of reincarnation. Here’s a quote about the film from an interview mentioned in an article by Huffington Press. 

“When I watched the final movie, I felt it was extraordinarily beautiful but I felt disappointed by the ending. There was a different ending that they shot that I felt was much more true to the story. It was about reincarnation, basically, that they were going to meet again. The movie ended with two babies being born simultaneously, one in Bombay and one in the United States, and they held them up, and then the screen went to black.”

Did this play into his consideration of suicide? We may never know.

There will be no reincarnation, as Hinduism has it. There will be a resurrection, both of the righteous and the unrighteous (Revelation 20:6 and surrounding). The righteous are those who’ve been made right by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross (Romans 3:24-26), who have been reborn by receiving Christ (John 1:12, 3:3 & 5). These people are justified (made right) by Jesus Christ and will rise from the dead and reign with Him. The unrighteous are those who do not believe, who reject Jesus Christ and his sacrifice for their sins . They will come up in the second resurrection and will be judged according to what is written in “the books,” which means they will be judged for their own works. Since none are righteous apart from Christ (Isaiah 64:6, Romans 3:23), they are thrown into the Lake of Fire to be eternally destroyed (Revelation 20:11-15).

Heaven is “God’s space, or God’s dimension” to quote theologian N.T. Wright (from his book Surprised by Hope). This is where God’s throne is (Psalm 11:4). After death we leave earth and enter the dimensions of God’s space beyond time.  So, I don’t die and go to “my heaven.” If I don’t believe in God, if I don’t want to be with God, if I want to escape his presence, the only option is hell. This is a realm where people are forever separated from God, and must ultimately pay the penalty for their own sins, which is eternal death, or destruction.

So, there is no heaven apart from God. Even if you were given some realm in which to live out your dreams, without God it would soon become hell. Human beings were made by God and for God (Psalm 100:3). We were made to be loved by God, and to love and worship God (Matthew 22:37-38). Self-love alone is malformed love, which soon devolves into selfish idolatry. I am missing what I was made for if I am apart from God. I become increasingly warped and monstrous the longer I remain separated from God. I believe what will make hell more “hellish” is that those who dwell there will have only self to sense and serve and love. We were created not only to love God but to love other people (Matthew 22:39). In order to do that we must receive the love God offers through Jesus. “Love one another the way I have loved you” (John 15:12). In hell we will be separated, not only from God, but from caring about others. Love will be impossible.

In this fallen world we are naturally separated from God by sin. Humans were created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27), but we are fallen; we are broken. So long as we live in this dimension of time, however, there is time enough to change.  We are malformed creatures, who may be reformed into the image of God by putting faith in Jesus Christ. That is our hope and our opportunity now, today. “Today is the day of salvation, now is the time of God’s favor” (2 Corinthians 6:2). This is why suicide is such a horrible lie. When someone commits suicide, they are looking for salvation from their depression and pain. The reality is, they have destroyed the opportunity to be saved in that moment.

A hurting person wants whatever they are going through to stop, but ending their earthly life will not stop it. Instead it may bring more pain than they can possibly imagine. There was a time in the Bible when the people were longing for an end to their difficult circumstances. They cried out for “the Day of the Lord,” which is another way of saying “Judgment Day,” the time when God will make everything right. Problem is, the people who cried out for this were sinning. They were not right with God. In fact, the circumstances they were complaining about were actually sent by God as discipline. The pain they were enduring would only be temporary if they would change their hearts and minds and listen to God. Here is what the prophet Amos told these people about their desire to see the Day of the Lord, and I believe that this is what the suicidal person needs to hear, for they are hastening the day of their own judgment.

“Woe to you who desire the day of the Lord! 

Why would you have the day of the Lord? 

It is darkness, and not light, 

 as if a man fled from a lion, 

and a bear met him, 

or went into the house and leaned his hand against the wall, 

and a serpent bit him. 

Is not the day of the Lord darkness, and not light, 

and gloom with no brightness in it?”

(Amos 5:18-20).

If you’re hurting, depressed, despairing, there is hope! Your hope is cannot be killing yourself. The Sixth Commandment explicitly forbid this: You shall not kill. That means God commands you not to kill yourself, friend. He loves you and has a better life planned for you than you are currently experiencing. “I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to help you, not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11). The promise made to His exiled people in this verse is for you too. If you are in exile from God, from love, from light, from experiencing life. Jesus offers a rich and satisfying life. It is the enemy of God, Satan, who wants to kill you. 

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy, but I have come to give abundant life” (John 10:10). The thief is Satan. He is a murderer and a liar; in fact, he is the source of the lies you are believing right now. “He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44b).

Change your thinking, friend. Change your ways. Turn your life completely over to the care of the Lord Jesus Christ, right now.

We all sin. “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). All of us earn death for our sin. “For the wages of sin is death…” (Romans 6:23a). Jesus died so you don’t have to! Jesus also rose from the dead. He overcame our worst enemy, the devil, and our greatest fear, death.

“Because God’s children are human beings—made of flesh and blood—the Son also became flesh and blood. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the devil, who had* the power of death. Only in this way could he set free all who have lived their lives as slaves to the fear of dying.”

(Hebrews 2:14-15, NLT).

Jesus is alive and He offers you the gift of eternal life, “but the free gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ our Lord” (Romans 6:23b). 

You need to be saved. “What must we do to be saved” (Acts 2:38a)? All you have to do is turn away from your own thinking and your own ways and turn toward Jesus Christ. “Repent and let each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit” (Acts 2:38b). Call out to Jesus right now. Admit you’ve sinned, admit that suicidal thoughts are sin. Confess that Jesus died and rose so that you can be forgiven and saved. “if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, then you will be saved… whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be saved” (Romans 10:9 & 13).

Pray right now:

Jesus,

I believe in you.

I believe you died for my sins.

I believe you rose from the dead.

I give you my life, right now.

I want your Holy Spirit to live inside of me.

I receive you, your gift of eternal life and all that you have to offer.

Jesus Christ, you are Lord and God.

You are my God.

Amen.

Now, get to a church and get some support. Start reading your Bible so that your mind can be renewed and transformed (Romans 12:2). If you haven’t been baptized in water since you gave your life to Jesus Christ, you must be. He commanded it.

For more, visit our church’s website http://lifewellchurch.com

ZMA and Balance

I took a supplement last night that’s supposed to help people who lift weights to gain more muscle. It’s called ZMA. Nothing exotic; just zinc, magnesium and vitamin B6. Within an hour I wasn’t feeling great; in two I was miserable. It’s hard to pinpoint how I felt, except to say that my head hurt and I was jittery in a strange way. I looked at the label and the B6 dose is really high, like over 500% of the daily recommended dose. I looked up side effects of excess B6 and it can cause nerve damage. Good grief! Why in the world are companies permitted to market and sell a product purportedly to help someone get healthier, which can actually cause physical harm? Unbelievable.

The lesson I learned from this is one I should have already learned. Do the research before you start taking the supplement, or medication, or anything else you put into your body. Get the majority of your nutrition from natural food, not pills and powders. Believe it or not, I did look at the ingredients in ZMA, as I do the other supplements I take, and thought it’d be good because what it contains are natural substances that the body requires. Problem is, you can take toxic amounts of some vitamins and minerals. I think that was the case with this product.

While I was experiencing the reaction to ZMA I was praying that God would heal me. I ate a little, vomited a little, took an over the counter pain reliever, drank water, and waited. I believe God answered my prayer fairly quickly. Within an hour I felt well enough to lay down, and I eventually fell asleep. I feel great today! Thank God.

I wrote an essay about balance last week, and this is another example of the need for that practice in life. Too little vitamin B6, zinc or magnesium will cause a variety of physical problems. Too much of these essential nutrients is toxic and causes different problems. What we need it proper balance. I am in balance today and I feel healthy.

Today is leg day in my weight workout schedule. Legs are difficult because it’s such a large muscle group. I’m in the middle of a protocol known as German Volume Training or the 10 Sets Method. The idea is to do ten sets of ten repetitions of two different exercises in a superset. On leg day. I do squats, which require a lot of effort normally, but they are paired with leg curls. You do ten repetitions of squats, wait 90 seconds, then do ten reps of leg curls, wait 90 seconds and go back to squats. Back and forth I go until ten sets of both exercises are completed. It takes a lot out of you. 

I didn’t want to do that leg workout today. I started to make excuses: I don’t feel well because of last night, my legs feel tired, I feel tired. However, I went to the gym and did the workout. Actually, I did eight sets because it felt like there might actually be something amiss. Now I feel great. Balance. The body needs to be active in order to remain healthy. If I would have sat around it wouldn’t have been healthy. If I would have pushed it, it may have been too much (today). 

The Bible has something to say about discipline, which I believe applies here. “All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but in the end it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness” (Hebrews 12:11). That verse is speaking about receiving discipline from God, but it applies to self-discipline as well. In fact, if you discipline yourself by being obedient to God and doing what He says, He won’t have any reason to correct you with outside discipline.

So, eat healthy, stay active listen to God and do what he says. He speaks through Jesus Christ, the Son, and in the Bible, his written message. In this way you’ll stay in balance and be happy.

Vindication 5 Who Is Deaf Like My Servant?

This is the fifth chapter in a series about 21 years of overcoming conflict and opposition as I’ve tried to learn how to minister and speak the truth in Garland, Texas. You can read the first four parts at www.deorl.wordpress.com or in my notes on www.Facebook.com/deorl.

In the early years of our church’s existence we were seeking an identity and a home. I thought we knew who God had called us to be and to whom he had called us to speak and serve. We were refugees who had been called to the rebellious who didn’t like church. We started out meeting in a rented house in Richardson, Texas, as well as hotel ballrooms. Regarding the house, there was some conflict with neighbors and the City of Richardson over our Bible studies and band practices. We were told by the city that we couldn’t have worship services in the house. Well, we were only doing Bible studies there, but there were complaints about that. We had two neighbors that liked us and two that didn’t. Complaints get the attention of city officials and they use zoning laws to limit free speech and free exercise.

We found an old movie theater in Garland, Texas and moved everything there. It was large, which would work well for our dramatic productions, but it had been unoccupied for at least 10 years. Many things had to be done just to bring it up to code. We took out a loan to do the necessary renovations. I really thought we’d be able to grow enough to pay the loan back quickly. However, as it turned out, the age of the building and an uncooperative owner kept us from having an inviting facility where people would worship.

We spent a lot of money getting the air conditioning to work in the building, but when the first winter hit we discovered the building did not have working heat either. This was something an unscrupulous leasing agent had kept from us. When we requested help from the owner, he offered to loan us money to fix the heating in his building. The payments for this five thousand dollar loan would conveniently be added to our rent. Even if this were fair, it wasn’t feasible for us. We were already struggling to pay the rent.

So, our little community froze through two winters in the old theater. During one of those winters I and our worship leader were living in the building as a cost saving measure. It was shortly after the movie Fight Club, and we saw this as our version of the dilapidated old house in which Edward Norton’s character lives. Did I mention it was cold? If you’re from a Northern state, then you probably think Texas cannot get that cold, but living in a building without heat in 30 degree weather is still harsh.

Worship services during these winters were interesting. We did a noon Bible study with brunch, and that happened either in the lobby or outside in front of the building. Our main worship time was at 6:00 P. M. Sundays. We tried various portable heaters, but the ceilings were 34 feet, so it really never got that warm. The few intrepid youths who came to worship huddled around those heaters and tried to pay attention to the service. This was not the best environment for worship attendance growth.

To compound the heating challenge, we also got flooded several times. Once during a drama production, it rained and a drain behind the building failed. Several of our scenes were flooded and we had to cancel the show that night. Neither the owner or the leasing company was willing to take responsibility for this. They did dig out the drain, but wouldn’t compensate us for lost revenue. At this point a little relief from the rent is all we were seeking. It would have even been financially wise on their part because it would have helped us remain in the building.

We had a three year lease, but there was a six month opt-out clause, which was put there by the owner, who was seeking to sell the building. After two years, and two cold winters, we had had enough. We gave our six-month notice in July, which meant we would be out of the building by December 31st.

On December 1st of that year I spoke about spiritual warfare during our Sunday evening worship time. I remember that it was a long message, and sitting on the floor to my right was a young man who would soon be shipped off to the war with Iraq. Warfare is primarily spiritual, even when it appears to be against material foes.

The next morning dawned a beautiful day; the sun was out, temperature was mild. Life, it seemed, was great. By mid-morning my perception of the day changed dramatically. The hearing in my right ear suddenly began to diminish. If I could make a visual analogy, it was as though I was inside a cave with bright sun coming in through the entrance. Then a door began closing like the iris on a camera, and it grew dark. As it got darker, I became more deaf. By 1:00 P. M. on December 2nd, 2002 I could no longer hear in my right ear.

To be deaf is a challenge. However, it was a shock to me because I’d always had good hearing. I do have tinnitus, loud ringing in my ears. This was the result of listening to a youth garage band years earlier. It was cold that day, so the teenagers in the band closed the garage door and turned up the amplifiers. I left with my ears ringing and they’ve never stopped. Up to this point, however, this affliction had not been overwhelming because outside noise usually drowned out the ringing.

Now my right ear was completely deaf to outside sounds. Complete deafness on that side would have been hard to take, but ironically I could still hear ringing in the ear, constant shrill ringing. Imagine if you were in a room where a loud smoke alarm is going off next to one of your ears, but you cannot stop it, or leave the room.

As I grew deaf, I also grew dizzy. I experienced a severe case of vertigo. I had to lay down to keep from vomiting. For a week, whenever I moved my head the room spun in the same direction. This was hell. In fact, as I lay there, perfectly still, I had time to think about hell, and what many Christians say it will be: eternal conscious torment. I could not imagine something so horrible. It changed my perspective. Something I may write about another time.

Thankfully, I believe in a good and loving God who hears prayer. I complained. I cried out. I begged God to help and heal me. I went to the doctor and received minor relief in the form of anti-vomiting medication, but the vertigo continued. I read the Bible and believed God directed I apply a promise from Revelation 2:10. It was originally a promise for the church in the ancient city of Smyrna. It reads: “Don’t be afraid of what you are about to suffer. The devil will throw some of you in prison to test you. You will suffer for ten days. But if you remain faithful even when facing death, I will give you the crown of life.” I was surely imprisoned by this strange affliction. I came to believe that the torment would last no longer than ten days. By the tenth day the vertigo was barely noticeable, so perhaps this was an accurate understanding of what the Holy Spirit promised me through the Bible. However, I wasn’t completely healed.

To this day I am almost completely deaf in my right ear. The ringing is loud and incessant: every waking hour, every single day since December 2, 2002. Thankfully, God grants me sleep and I do not hear the ringing then. I often have to strain to hear what people are saying during a conversation because the ringing is as loud as most people speak. When I try to play music or direct sound into that ear through headphones it irritates something and the ringing will become briefly louder.

On several occasions tinnitus in my left ear has flared up and become so loud that I have been terrified the same thing might happen. That would be for me the realization of hell on earth: not just deafness, but constant torment because of unimpeded ringing in both ears. I am trusting God not to allow something so horrific to happen. When I fear the other ear may close up, I cry out and trust my good and loving Father

The only thing that keeps me sane in the midst of constant affliction is the hope that God is good, he loves me and does not intend to harm me. He will not permit evil to overcome me. I remember his promises. I cling to them. I hold God accountable to keep his word.

” So do not fear, for I am with you; 

do not be dismayed, for I am your God. 

I will strengthen you and help you; 

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 

“All who rage against you

will surely be ashamed and disgraced;

those who oppose you

will be as nothing and perish.

Though you search for your enemies,

you will not find them.

Those who wage war against you

will be as nothing at all.

For I am the Lord your God 

who takes hold of your right hand 

and says to you, Do not fear; 

I will help you.”

(Isaiah 41:10-13, NIV)