Author Archives: deorl

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About deorl

Pastor of Lifewell Church. lifewellchurch.com

Overcoming Anger, a Christian View

Anger is easy. There’s a lot to be mad about: some is justified; some is not; and too much is pointless. Anger is my default emotion, my drug of choice, if you will. When I get hurt, it makes me mad. When something doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to, it frustrates me and that results in anger (hence, my longstanding problem with technology). When I have to wait for something for what I feel is too long, that impatience results in anger (just experienced this with our abysmally slow internet connection). When people ignore me or reject me, it makes me angry. All of this bubbles up from the well of Pride, which is to say Original Sin. Pride expresses itself in manifold ways in different individuals, and this is an obvious way it comes out in my life.

In the Bible, James, the half-brother of Jesus and pastor of the first Jerusalem church admonishes, “The anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God” (James 1:20). And yet, when someone cuts me off in traffic, when things don’t turn out as I expected, when I feel I am being treated unfairly, anger flairs and runs me, then ruins a portion of the day. This is wrong. Knowing that, however, doesn’t stop it from happening.

The results of human anger are devastating. Health problems may be caused or exacerbated by chronic anger. Depression is often the result of internalized anger. I may strike out in anger and injure someone physically or emotionally. Anger may even result in murder. Jesus clearly taught that anger leads that direction.
“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.” (Matthew 5:21–22, ESV)
When I’m angry with another person because of a real or perceived wrong they’ve done to me, then I have the motive which may escalate to hatred and murder. Even though I can’t imagine myself killing someone, I am guilty of harming them in my mind and I possess the motive to do harm. Slander is character assassination, so even if I wouldn’t dream of killing the target of my anger, I may very well feel no compunction about ruining their reputation.

It is likely that anger constitutes an addiction. Now, don’t get me wrong: I’m not attempting to turn myself into a victim of genetics, or the poor choices of my youth. Every time I erupt in anger, I am making a clear choice. I am guilty. However, that doesn’t mean it is easy to control. In fact, I’m coming to realize that, like any addiction, fighting anger is futile because I’m fighting my own will. “A house divided against itself will not stand. This is made worse by the fact that I’m fighting anger with, well, more anger. What I must do is attack the basis for all of my anger, not just fight daily skirmishes against it’s myriad outbreaks.

The command and control center for anger, and for Pride, which is its basis, is the self. More specifically, “me” striving to live apart from the manifest presence of God. We weren’t created to live apart from God, and doing so has grave consequences. Anger is one of them.

My self must come to an end. It must die. I’m not suicidal, don’t worry. I’m not talking about ending my life but about ending the self-life. This includes: selfishness, self-centeredness, selfish ambition, even self-protection, manifesting as a constant need to defend the self. However, I cannot do this alone. No addiction can be eradicated without outside help.

“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now Iive in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me” (Galatians 2:20).

Jesus Christ came to earth to accomplish what you and I cannot alone. The Son of God took on the fullness of our humanity, lived the life we are supposed to, then took on the full weight of our sin. Then he died. I must die with him. I must be crucified with Christ. That is how the self-life comes to an end.

“If anyone is in Christ, they are a new creation. Old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Most importantly, Jesus Christ rose from the dead. In so doing he brought hope for a new life and a new self. Jesus told Nicodemus, “You must be born anew” (John 3:3). This may also be stated, “You must be born from above.” The resurrection makes that possible for everyone who will believe.

So, in order to overcome my anger, I must identify with Jesus Christ on the cross, through the grave, and in the resurrection. I must realize and remind myself daily, and even moment by moment, that I am a new creation in Christ. I have a new identity. No longer do I live my life apart from God. I’ve invited his Spirit into my innermost being, and a transformation has taken effect. I have a new nature. My thinking must agree with this reality.

When I agree with God’s Word and Spirit that I am a new person, that I have been re-created to be a “little Christ”, then the anger dissipates. It is replaced by a peace that surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:5-6), and by a humble confidence in God.

Build a Wall!

Build a wall!
Build a wall!
Keep them out,
keep them away!
We are afraid,
no we hate,
hate those Mexicans,
rapists and drug dealers all!
We hate those Muslims,
extremists all!
We grin and bear
our white racist teeth.
Xenophobia reigns!
This is my land,
not your land:
home of the Anglo,
the land of me.

The Cure for Moral Insanity

What can cure the moral insanity spreading through our world?

Planned Parenthood (what a misnomer) is the largest abortion provider in the nation. They promote themselves as advocates for women’s health. What they actually are is a consumer corporation profiting from women who are facing the challenge of an unwanted pregnancy. They receive half a billion dollars from our government. But that’s not enough money for this greedy corporation. They call the human being in the womb “products of conception,” and ironically, they sell body parts from aborted fetuses as products for experimentation. The Nazis also experimented on human beings for “medical purposes” and used body parts from the unwanted human beings they murdered. Why do so many continue to support this evil corporation? Supporters are people driven by emotional pleas and political correctness, voting a party line rather than admitting the truth, having compassion or being concerned about the dignity of human life. This is sick. Why aren’t the decision makers being prosecuted? The same US government that protects the egg of a bald eagle ensures permission for unborn humans to be ripped from the womb one body part at a time. This is moral insanity.

The U.S. created a power vacuum in the Middle East because of the 2003 Iraq invasion and the weary withdrawal of US troops after a decade of attempting to assist in creating a fair democracy. This vacuum is now being filled by the most evil men the world has seen since the days of Hitler, Stalin and Pol Pot. Islamic extremists have yet to murder as many people as those dictators, but they possess the will to do so. ISIS is attempting to establish a Caliphate or religious government that wills to take over the world. They revel in spectacular executions, slavery of those who don’t believe their doctrine, rape as a form of worship and the destruction of ancient history. All of this evil is calculated to serve one goal: terrorize the world in an effort to subdue it. This is moral insanity.

ISIS butchers thousands of people, and the U.S. response has been timid and tepid. Christians are martyred like they were in the Roman Colosseum, but in place of thousands of spectators in the stands there are multiple millions of viewers on the internet. Why are their videos hosted? Why are they permitted to promote their evil? Social media giants like Facebook and Twitter could do more to shut these people out, but instead they tacitly support the evil they allow to be promoted via their networks. The news media covers ISIS in graphic detail because it draws more viewers. In so doing, CNN, MSNBC, FOX become the de facto PR team for ISIS. Terror is their tool, publicizing their activities, ideas and videos gives them the worldwide stage they desire to spread fear and horror. This is moral insanity.

The United States leads the world. The culture here is a powerful influence everywhere. Sexual immorality has become the norm in our culture. The family existed prior, not only to our government and our nation, but prior to civilization itself. It is the fundamental building block of civilization. Now that ancient institution is under sustained attack by a perverse and powerful lobby. What was once considered shameful has been institutionalized by the highest court in the land. Marriage has been universally understood to be the bond between one man and one woman. That five unelected judges changed the definition of a 5000 year old institution should be deeply disturbing to everyone. Every child needs a mother and a father. To establish a norm that deprives children of this is moral insanity. However, the problem of single parent homes did not originate within the LGBT community. In fact, fatherless homes may well be the most significant cause of the sexual confusion in which we find ourselves in today.

The ideal is that the marriage bond lasts for life. Divorce became more and more accepted in the mid 20th century. Now it is as common as marriage. The once expected standard of waiting to have sex until marriage has been replaced with rampant sexual promiscuity. Cohabitation is the norm. The internet has made pornography instantly accessible to almost anyone. It is not surprising that this fertile ground for sexual immorality has produced increased acceptance for inordinate and perverse forms of sex. Consider the popularity of the book series titled 50 Shades of Gray, wherein the rich misogynistic male protagonist gets off on treating his female partners like sex slaves, and the female protagonist enjoys such treatment. This is moral insanity.

Then there is the explosion of gun violence in the US. Why? Policy makers and politicians wring their hands, or point their fingers at one another, but fail to make any changes. The left sees this as a problem with the proliferation of guns, so they propose gun control laws. The right sees this as a problem solvable by the exercise of the 2nd Amendment right to keep and bear arms. Their solution is to arm law abiding citizens. Guns merely make violence more convenient and more glamorous. I wonder how many of the same individuals who support gun control would oppose controlling the sale of violent video games to kids? Why do NRA and 2nd Amendment advocates oppose attempts to keep guns out of the hands of the untrained? Not everyone should have the right to carry a gun. The unfortunate problem is, those who choose to break the law are not going to train or get their guns registered. What we have is a social problem that is signified, and perhaps exacerbated, by guns, but not caused or resolved by guns or their removal from the hands of law abiding citizens.

The real issue was revealed by Jesus Christ when one of his disciples wanted to protect him from harm. On the night before his crucifixion, Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemene praying when Judas Iscariot arrived with a crowd of men with swords and clubs. The traitor identified his former master with a kiss and the guards grabbed Jesus. Peter drew a sword and struck the high priest’s servant, severing his ear. Jesus healed the servant’s ear and admonished Peter saying, “Put your sword back in its place. For all who take the sword will perish by the sword” (Matthew 26:52, ESV). 

Guns are neither the problem nor the answer. The issue is in the heart of human beings, for evil comes out of the heart. In this case it is the evil of treating other persons as objects, obstacles that threaten us or stand in our way. Video games provide an apt example: when you encounter a person who threatens you or stands in the way of your progress, you typically just shoot them dead. But persons are created in God’s image. Why aren’t we bothered when human beings are treated with less respect than our pets?

This reveals an even deeper heart problem: the failure fear God, to believe in a just and loving God, who says, “Vengeance is mine. I will repay… For we must all stand before the judgement seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil” (Romans 12:19b, 2 Corinthians 5:10).

In an unprincipled, increasingly lawless, population every person looks to himself to determine right and wrong.  The serpent promised self-determination to Eve in the Garden when he tempted her to eat the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. “You will not die; for God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” Eve and Adam gave in to the temptation and were cast out of God’s presence. Self-determination (apart from God) has continued as the norm of human nature throughout our history. It was exemplified during the period of Judges in Israel when the people did great evil. The explanation for that evil is found in the final verse of Judges: “In those days there was no king in Israel. Everyone did what was right in his own eyes” (Judges 21:25).

When someone rejects God as their king, they do so in order to rule over their own conscience and life (see Psalm 10:4, 14:1). They become blind to sin and evil, following the dictates of their own godless heart. “Transgression speaks to the ungodly within his heart; there is no fear of God before his eyes. For he flatters himself too much to detect or hate his own sin” (Psalm 36:1-2).

The law is for the lawless. There is a God who has created the universe the people who live in it. The universe operates according to the constant and unchangeable laws of physics, and human beings are created to live within the parameters of the the moral law, which the Creator also established. This is obvious to anyone who would bother to pay attention and pursue the evidence instead of their own agenda. “For what may be known about God is evident within them for God has made it evident to them. Ever since the creation of the world his invisible attributes, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived through what has been made, so they are without excuse” (Romans 1:19-20). 

There are elementary moral principles present in everyone’s conscience. However, we live in a fallen world in active rebellion against those principles. This confuses people and distorts the subjective perception of truth in their consciences. “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death” (Proverbs 14:12). Therefore, God made the moral law objectively plain to his people Israel on Mount Sinai. Then he sent his Son to live out the truth and offer a way for everyone to receive and live eternal life. “For the Law was given through Moses; grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ… I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me” (John 1:17, 14:6).

The cure for moral insanity today is a King and a Law. “Where there is no vision the people are unrestrained. But happy is he who keeps the law” (Proverbs 29:18). For people who genuinely believe in and follow the God of the Bible, there is moral sanity. However, for those who do not live their lives surrendered to God, the Law is in place to teach them right from wrong and threaten punishment for violation.
“…understanding this, that the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, the sexually immoral, for the effeminate and homosexuals, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine” (1 Timothy 9-10).

We must encourage and reintroduce the truth of the Bible to people, in order that many may return to faith, which at its basic level is reverence for God. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge” (Proverbs 1:7). Next, there must be a fair and gracious application of God’s Law, which is objectively defined in the 10 Commandments. There must be legitimate and just authority in place to establish and enforce laws on this basis. These commandments teach and mandate respect for God and respect for other people.
1- You shall worship no other God, except me.
2-  You shall not make any idols.
3-  You shall not misuse my Name.
4-  Observe the Sabbath and keep it holy.
5-  Honor your father and mother.
6-  Do not murder.
7-  Do not commit adultery.
8-  Do not steal.
9-  Do not lie.
10- Do not covet.

The first four Commandments focus on God and should be left to God’s people to teach and enforce among themselves. Civil law and authorities should protect and ensure that expressions of faith in God are unhindered and unmolested, and that every person is free to worship God, or to refrain from worshipping, according to his or her conscience. Most importantly, there must be no law passed to prohibit the preaching and teaching of the Bible. That is where truth, freedom and salvation is found.

The last six commandments should form the basis for civil law. Society’s laws will need to expand upon, but should still find their basis in, these six basic commands.

Those of us who claim to believe in and follow Jesus Christ must lead the way. The following admonition reveals what will restore sanity to us.
“For the Lord has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power, and love and a sound mind.”
(2 Timothy 1:7)
The word translated timidity is sometimes rendered as fear, but the lexicon helps us understand it further by defining it as: “a state of fear because of a lack of courage or moral strength” (Louw-Nida Greek lexicon). We who would claim Christ as our Lord must have the courage to live out our moral convictions. There must be no compromise with the godless values promoted and enshrined in our nation. “Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them” (Ephesians 5:11). 

We must not be timid about taking a stand against the moral insanity spreading through our nation and the world, even as it becomes socially acceptable, even if we are castigated and persecuted for the stand we take. We must “speak the truth in love,” and “be ready always to give an answer for the hope that is within us, yet with gentleness and reverence” (Ephesians 4:15, 1 Peter 3:15). This is important if we ever expect to bring our nation back from the brink of moral breakdown, but it is even more important for each of us to have courage for the sake of our own moral sanity.

We do not do this alone. The Holy Spirit will fill us with courage, and will remind us of God’s words when the time comes to speak (see John 14:26 & Luke 12:11-12). So, rest; do not be anxious or afraid. Do the right thing always, and be ready to defend your moral choice by appealing to the Lord Jesus as your teacher. Do not be ashamed of the name of Jesus or of his Gospel. “For I am not ashamed of the Gospel, for it is the power of salvation to all who believe, for the Jew first and also the Greek” (Romans 1:16).

Let us pray for nothing short of a Great Awakening in this formerly great nation.

Pass Me By

Ever feel like the world is just passing you by,

like one of those days when you watch the sky

as the windblown clouds roll on by?

I watch while others succeed and I

do not begrudge or envy,

not much, not really.

But I do wonder why,

Why am I standing still,

Still,

while other lives move on?

What have I failed to do, God?

Do you hear me,

or have you stopped listening

to me cry?

I am not a perfect man,

but I have seen enough to know

that there has only been One.

Every leader I’ve ever followed has failed

in some way or another.

So, you do bless the imperfect.

What about me:

why am I still here;

why am I not free?

My eyes fail from looking for help.

I look to the hills but none comes,

not from the children of men.

Whom do I have in heaven but Thee?

Nothing on earth appeals to me.

All is lost, as it should be,

So I try to live for Christ,

even though I rarely see any

earthly reward,

and my heart is sick from hope deferred.

I am fully aware and entirely willing

to take all the blame here.

I just don’t know what I’ve done

or failed to do

that merits such persistent

mediocrity.

Is there something more,

something I’m missing here?

Did you call and I failed to hear?

Did I go when I wasn’t called?

Who is deaf like your messenger,

or blind like the one whom You’ve sent?

Open my eyes, Lord,

I want to see Jesus.

Open my ears lord,

and help me to listen.

Don’t pass me by.

Ashley Madison

Ashley Madison is not merely a fashionable woman’s name; it’s a website that promotes adultery. Their slogan is: Life is short, have an affair. It’s run by a couple who say this is just business; they’re faithful to each other (so they claim). Reminds me of drug dealers who sell heroin but don’t do it because they realize how addictive and destructive it is. Yet they don’t care how many people the drug ruins or kills, as long as they make money. After all, it’s only a business.

The reason I know about Ashley Madison is the same reason many of you do. Hackers stole their private client list and publicly posted it (not easily available unless you know your way around the web, however). The media has exposed reality TV Christian Josh Duggar, as well as Sam Radar, who hosts a  show with his wife on YouTube about raising their kids. Both have apologized. There is also a Muslim preacher, who has denied his involvement. Is it wrong to reveal these people’s private choices? Do you think this whole affair (forgive the pun) is sad? How should we feel?

What is wrong is that this service exists at all. What is sad is that 37.5 million married people have been using it to betray their spouses. I am not at all upset that any of them got caught. I am concerned about those who have harmed themselves as the result of being exposed, rather than seeking mercy and forgiveness.

Is this anyone else’s business, though, beyond the couples involved? Actually, yes, it is. Marriage is a commitment to one other person, but it is a public commitment. In a wedding ceremony promises are made before family and friends, and by extension to those friends and family. The promise is this:  I will remain true to this one person, he or she is mine and I am theirs for life. The cheater is betraying not only their spouse, but everyone else who has any kind of relationship with them. The betrayal moves out in concentric circles beginning with the spouse, then to the children, close relatives, friends, coworkers and so on. Adultery is the breaking of a promise made to everyone.

How should someone feel who has committed adultery? Ashamed. I mean it, you should feel bad about what you’ve done, or are doing. You feel guilty because, well, you are guilty. And I don’t mean just because you got caught. Don’t justify yourself; don’t make excuses. Alleviating guilt by rationalizing your choices won’t change anything. Shame and guilt are not enough, though. That will only serve to destroy you emotionally, and perhaps socially as well. You must feel and think, and believe and do something more. You must repent. That means you have an honest and real change of heart. So much so that if you could go back, you wouldn’t do the same thing again. Make no excuses. Just admit it’s wrong. Then seek mercy and forgiveness from God, your spouse and everyone else in your life. Change your thinking; change your ways.

You need to fear God. In my estimation, that is precisely what is lacking in our nation today. People don’t fear God so they do whatever they feel like doing… until they get caught and have to face the consequences of their actions. In the Bible there is an entire book called Judges, which narrates a time in Israelite history when the people did some pretty shocking things (even by our standards today). The book concludes by explaining all of the moral insanity: “In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes” (Judges 21:25). The people had neither an earthly king, nor did they live in submission to God as their king, and so it is in our day.

Yet in the ancient world even those who had no faith or allegiance to the God of the Bible were made to realize that adultery was evil and posed grave consequences. Consider a situation that arose with both Abraham and again years later with his son Isaac (Genesis 12, 20 & 26). Both father and son were blessed with beautiful wives, and both stayed among foreigners whom they feared. Abraham stayed among the Egyptians for a time and called Sarah his sister (a partial truth) in order to protect himself from any who would kill him to marry her. Indeed, Pharaoh took Sarah into his harem and gave Abraham favor and many gifts as a result. However, the Bible reports: “But the LORD struck Pharaoh and his house with great plagues because of Sarai, Abram’s wife.” Pharaoh recognized that the calamity had come as the result of taking another man’s wife and returned Sarah to Abraham and sent them away. This happened again when Abraham lived near a king named Abimelech, then with his son Isaac and Abimelech’s son of the same name. In each case the reaction was the same: fear of God and repentance.

God offers forgiveness, even if your spouse doesn’t. You have to admit you are wrong. You must repent. You have to stop the affair. God forgives because Jesus died the death you and I deserve because of our wrongdoing. Too often, though, we want freedom from guilt and shame, but we fail or refuse to admit we’ve done anything truly bad. I believe that repentance involves a deep sense of guilt and shame. Then we lay our guilty selves at the crucified feet of Jesus and cry out for mercy. Because of the Lord’s grace anyone who repents and has faith in Christ will be granted forgiveness and set free!

So, even if you haven’t been caught cheating, stop now. Even if your cheating is only in your imagination, and via porn sites, it’s already adultery of the heart. Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:27-28). Cry out to God. Run to his merciful arms. Allow his Spirit to convict you of your wrong and to forgive you and raise you up and give you new life. If you feel that conviction now, don’t even finish this article before you pray…

Adultery is particularly confusing to children, and destructive to families. “Why is daddy with a different mommy?” The adulterer is teaching their kids that it’s okay to lie, cheat, steal, betray and break your promises. They are showing no respect for their family. So, what happens when those kids reach the teen years? They may be jaded. They may see the adulterous parent(s) as having no moral authority (at least in the sexual area). They may perceive that marriage has little or no meaning. A recent  movie called Trainwreck illustrates this reality. It is a cynical comedy about a woman whose father has taught her by word and example: “Monogamy isn’t realistic.”  She spends her adult life moving from one meaningless sexual encounter to another, until she meets a guy who tries to steer her toward marriage. As in this movie, the children of adulterers will be tempted to see sex as an end of its own, instead of the special expression of love to one other person within the bounds of marriage.

Adultery starts before you’re married. Moving from one sexual partner to another reinforces a desire for novelty and change. It also fails to develop genuine intimacy and the necessary skill to please one other person consistently for a lifetime. The hook-up culture that predominates in high school and college today fails to develop healthy relationships. It is pleasure seeking and inherently self-centered. Patience is essential in marriage. Any relationship that has sex as the primary goal will not encourage tolerance for the shortcomings of the partner.

What about married people who are bored with their partners? How about those who no longer feel the same attraction, or even love, for their partner? The marriage covenant is not based on feelings, but promises. How you feel at any point in time is irrelevant. You made promises. You are responsible to keep them. Marriage requires work, and that work doesn’t stop.

Communication

If you are having difficulty, communicate with your spouse. If things are going well, tell them how much you appreciate them. If they don’t think sex is as important any more, talk about it. If sex is no longer fun, talk about what made it enjoyable earlier in the marriage. Communicate with one another regularly and with detail. In order to communicate effectively, you must listen more than you talk. You must be empathetic. As Atticus says to Scout in the classic novel To Kill a Mockingbird, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view—…until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”

Consideration

Say, “it’s not about me.” Now, repeat. “Let each of you look not only out for your own interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4). “Honor one another above yourselves” (Romans 12:10). Selfishness destroys relationships. Love is inherently unselfish. Put your partners needs above your own.

Compromise

Finally, learn to compromise. Both partners must practice this important discipline for the relationship to remain strong. This applies in the sexual area as much as in any other. Many times one partner (often the husband) wants to have sex more often than the other. Studies have shown that women may have a lower sex drive after having children. This coincides with a time when many marriages end in divorce. If you are the less motivated partner, compromise is necessary to keep your spouse satisfied. On the other hand, if you are the partner who is more sexually driven, it is important not to treat your wife (or husband) as the object of your pleasure. She’s not your porn project. If your partner is not as adventurous as you want them to be, you will need to be understanding and patient. Above all respect your partner. There are some sexual acts that don’t belong in anyone’s bedroom.

Ichabod America

Wow, America!
It’s been a great run.
Settled by Pilgrims fleeing persecution,
you were founded to be free from the tyranny
of monarchs, oligarchs, military dictators,
and oppressive majority rules.
Your system of government, of, for and by the people
requires the people
to be informed, involved, and moral.
Freedom has limits,
and you defined those limits,
those morals,
by the Book.
Even Deists like Jefferson
lived by the morals in that Book.
The values found in the Declaration and Constitution
come from that Book.
Once you believed in and lived by the Ten.
Oh, you failed in many ways,
but you were proven wrong by people
who upheld the values of the Book.
MLK protested racism and injustice
by pricking the consciences
of people who were taught the Golden Rule
in Sunday School.
Even hardened racists couldn’t escape it forever.
Now?
People believe whatever pleases them.
Oh America, the Book is no longer your guide.
In fact, powerful people reject it, mock it,
some label it dangerous.
Ah, but it is a danger
to those who do whatever is right
in their own eyes.
Oh, America! I have no doubt
that God established you
as a refuge for huddled masses,
a home for the homeless,
and land of opportunity for all.
But above all as a refuge
for people to worship freely,
and freely tell the Greatest Story to the world.
But America! Look around you!
Freedom of conscience wains,
even as sexual freedom reigns.
The consumer has replaced the Christian.
Justice lifts her blindfold,
and the scales tip
with the weight of gold.
Judges have become oligarchs,
abolishing laws passed by the people.
Jurisprudence by fiat
is the law of the land.
Oh, America!
Single Superpower,
ruling the world with money
and military might.
Do you think you are sovereign?
You are not!
The Lord gives,
and the Lord takes away,
Blessed be the Name
of the Only Sovereign Lord!
Oh, America! You are weighed in the balance,
and the scales upon which you stand
are going up!
So, you are going down.
Mene, mene, tekel, upharsin!
Who will divide your beautiful land?
Who will take your spoils?
Has the Lord already raised up another to rule over you?
Ichabod!
The glory has departed!
Repent America!
Return to the Rock upon Whom
you were founded.
Ah, Lord Jesus, I would ask you to forgive,
but they refuse to admit they sin.
You would justify them,
but instead they justify their sin!
So, I pray,
Oh, Lord I pray,
for repentance
and revival.
Begin with me!
Oh America! Your time is short.
What will you do?

Palpable Disrespect 

Palpable disrespect. 

Pretentious intellect.

Wikipedia researchers

with degrees in Googlese. 

Self-important posters, 

Poster children

for a social disease. 

Social media addicts,

praying to Facebook. 

One day soon you

will face the One

who wrote the Book

you disbelieve. 

Nobody can judge me!

Someone can. 

Someone will. 

Better to change now. 

Time is coming 

when you won’t. 

The Day is coming when

you can’t. 

Jenner Bender

An old friend shared that they believe Bruce Jenner should be able to choose freely to be a woman. This is my response…

First of all, hello. I hope all is well with you and yours. Thank you for taking the time to respond, even if I am surprised and the reason and the response. Just goes to show that we cannot presume to know the mind of those whom we know or have known. I am responding, not to prove myself right or you wrong, but because I do not want a lack of response to be understood as a lack of concern for you or tacit approval for your opinion, which is shared by an increasing number, but, honestly, is wrong-headed, and even if the intent is good (which I believe it is coming from you), it is ultimately harmful not helpful to those who struggle with sexual and gender issues. Realize, I am arguing my case, not disputing with you on a personal level.

There is a pernicious lie that has been propagated by academics and promoted by the LGTBQA (they keep adding letters!) agenda that gender is a social construct. In their understanding human beings are actually neuter and have gender imprinted upon them according to how they are raised. More recently, hard science and not a few clear human examples have strongly contradicted this hypothesis. However, political agendas seem quite immune to facts! 

Let’s begin with the Word of God. I don’t pretend to know if you’ve held your faith, but I’ll address you as I’d address anyone who has faith in God and Jesus Christ as His unique Son. The creation account affirms that the Creator created us male and female (Genesis 1:27). The man is to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife (Genesis 2:24). Jesus affirmed God’s creation of male and female and establishment of marriage as between one man and one woman for life. 

“He answered, ‘Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.’” 

In that one statement the Lord refutes the LGBT agenda, including same sex marriage. So, even though the tide of public opinion threaten, those who hold to the truth will not be swept away, for our opinions are not sand castles but firmly grounded as the Rock who will not be moved. “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away” (Jesus in Matthew 24:35).

We are living in a fallen world, however. Sin reigns and brings death. Sin perverts God’s design. Individuals like Bruce Jenner are examples of a particular type of perversion of God’s design. However, he is not a victim. He is, like me and you, a sinner. The difference between Bruce Jenner and me is, I have confessed my sin as sin and sought forgiveness. He has confessed his sin as something to be accepted and even celebrated. This is wrong on a number of levels, not the least of which is the level of influence on others. He is being used to sway the opinion of the nation. However, Bruce Jenner is a psychologically and emotionally disturbed person, not a paragon of virtue or a person worthy of being an influence on others. I am being charitable. I strongly suspect that this may all be a publicity stunt designed by Jenner to remain in the spotlight. Living with or around the Kardashians would certainly seem to support this theory. 

However, for the sake of argument, let’s say that Jenner really feels like a woman. What does that even mean? That he doesn’t FEEL like a man? There could be many reasons for that, chief among them that many of the characteristics we normally associate with masculinity and femininity should not be isolated to that gender. Some men like to stay indoors, are more quiet or shy, don’t like to fight. Does that make them feminine? No. Take the example of Esau and Jacob. Esau was an outdoorsman, a hunter and his father’s favorite (and a hairy man!). Jacob liked to be indoors, did not hunt, and was somewhat of a “momma’s boy”. Who did God choose to be the father of the nation of Israel? Yep, the one who was once known as Jacob and whose name was changed to Israel.

The (friend) that I remember was interested in science and moved by facts, so here are a few.
John’s Hopkins University was the institution that pioneered gender reassignment surgery. As of 2004 they no longer perform it. According to their former chief psychiatrist Paul McHugh http://www.firstthings.com/article/2004/11/surgical-sex

Regardless of what one does to their body, DNA speaks. A female retains two X chromosomes, a male will always have XY. The Y chomosome exerts a powerful influence beginning in the womb, exposing the baby to testosterone and masculinizing him.

Gender is not plastic as many would have us think. Look into the experiment on identical twin David Reimer, the boy who was raised as a girl as an illustration of this fact http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/12/us/david-reimer-38-subject-of-the-john-joan-case.html

The transgender phenomenon is overwhelmingly about sex, not gender. It may be a disturbance known as autogynephilia, and certainly a mental disturbance broadly referred to as sexual dysphoria (see the article by Dr. McHugh above). 

Recently, XXX Church publicized an interview they did with Diamond Dee, a transexual woman who chose to go back to living as a man after recommitting his life to Christ. In addition to the amazing story of redemption and grace, his testimony supports my assertion that some who live a transgender life do it for attention, and it supports the contention that this is about sex, not gender. Here’s the link to his interview http://xxxchurch.com/thehaps/the-diamond-dee-interview.html

Once again, I hope you are well, and realize that I wouldn’t have spent this much time crafting a reply to just anyone. However, since I did, I may post it to my blog for others. 

God Created Them Female and Male

“So God created humankind in his image,

in the image of God he created them;

male and female he created them.

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones

and flesh of my flesh;

this one shall be called Woman,

for out of Man this one was taken.”

(Genesis. 1:27 & 2:21-23, NRSV)

The book of Genesis begins with two accounts of creation: chapter one is an overview of the entire creative process, while chapter two focuses attention upon the position and relationship of man and woman to God in the created order. Attempts have been made by scholars of higher criticism to demonstrate that these two accounts are of different sources, and that each teaches an independent “myth” about the origin of humankind. A case of how important this is to our study is found in Paul K. Jewett’s book Man as Male and Female. In the book, Dr. Jewett finds the Genesis two account to be faulty on two counts: 1) man is created first, and 2) woman is made, in part, from the man (ie. from Adam’s rib). Jewett sees this as a myth rooted in the male dominated patriarchal culture of the Hebrews. Instead, he prefers the account in chapter one: specifically, 1:27 which provides a basis in creation for ontological equality between man and woman.

I do not find these to be mutually exclusive. It is improper to pit chapter one and two against each other as if the first is inspired and the second isn’t: both are Scripture, and all of Scripture is God breathed (II Timothy 3:16). I take the position that the two accounts are in harmony and explain each other. Primary to any idea that we have about woman concerns her worth. What is the basis of that worth: man, or God? Is she merely an afterthought in the mind of God, or some sort of plaything or helper for man? Or is she, as man is, created In the Imago Dei (the image of God)?

“Then God said, ‘Let us make man in Our Image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule..,. And God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” (Genesis 1:26a, 27, NASB).

In this passage of scripture we can plainly see that humankind, in both its male and its female aspects, is stamped with the indelible Imago Dei. With classic Hebrew parallelism the human author makes clear the divine intent. The first line “in the image of God He created Him” is clarified by the synthetic parallelism of the next line “male and female He created them”. Both man and woman are commanded in verse 28 to “be fruitful,” “multiply and fill the earth,” and very importantly God commands both to “subdue” and “rule.” God entrusted both men and women with the responsibility to increase in goodness, in number, and to rule and subdue the earth. Woman is not an afterthought in the mind of God, nor is she secondary in importance. Woman is charged with the same responsibility over creation as man.

An important question to ask is, how is this dual leadership over the earth supposed to be achieved practically? Is there a hierarchy where the man is to be above the woman, or is the relationship supposed to be side-by-side, or equalitarian? In reading the extra-biblical sources for this essay the author has discovered that most of the writers who favor an equalitarian relationship place major emphasis on Genesis 1:27, while those who favor a hierarchical relationship emphasize Genesis two and its Pauline application and interpretation in the New Testament. However, as we have indicated earlier, this dualism is not appropriate. Whereas Genesis one gives a general overview of God’s creative process and plan ending with the crown of His creation, humankind, chapter two focuses upon the last act of creation.

Man and Woman are given special attention by their Creator, “Then the Lord God formed man of the dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living *being…. Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for man to be alone; I will make Him a helper **suitable for him…. But for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh at that place. And the Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.’” (Genesis 2:7, 20b-22, NASB, *soul and **corresponding to).

In this more detailed account the focus is upon God’s great care in preparing the crown of His creation. In chapter one God speaks everything into existence, but He is said to “create” man. In chapter two that careful and brooding sculpture of man and woman is detailed: Man is formed from the dust, and woman is “built” from “a part” of man. In 2:7 man is made a “living soul” when God breathes into him “the breath of life.” This could be understood (as I believe it should) to mean “the spirit of life” since the Hebrew word for breath, wind, and spirit is the same. This helps us to understand in what way human beings are made in God’s image: we are inherently spiritual beings since He brought man and woman to life directly with His Spirit. This moves beyond a quantitative existence, although that is involved (ie. Genesis 6:3 “My Spirit shall not strive with man forever…”). It speaks of a quality of existence apart from and above the animals. Although the attention is placed upon the creation of Adam when the Scripture addresses this unique inspiriting from God, both male and female persons have a spirit since, as Genesis 1:27 makes clear, both are made in God’s image. The Genesis two account does not explicitly state that god breathed into woman but the fact that 1:27 indicates both are made in the image of God, and that 2:18 gives God’s intent to make a helper suitable for, or corresponding to, him, and that we are shown in 2:19-20 that nothing in the whole of creation is found to correspond to him gives us overwhelming evidence within the chapter that this is the case. It Is implicit to the entire passage that she shares all that he shares when being created.

However, man and woman are far from identical. There is an important difference in the way each is created, and there seems to be present a further differentiation between them in their focus for carrying out the divine mandate from 1:28 to rule the earth. To begin with, in creating humankind God chose to make man first. Additionally, Adam was the only human for long enough that he began to experience loneliness (1:18). From this we observe an important principle of human nature. A person is created to be in relationship. Humans are designed for relationships with other humans. A man is designed to relate to God and to be in an intimate relationship with a woman. A woman is designed to be intimate with a man and to be in relationship with God.

God moved to the next step in His plan for humankind, creating its other half: woman. God could easily have made another man from the dust of the earth. Perhaps God could have made Adam a male friend to “correspond to” him. That is not what God chose to do. Rather, in His plan the Lord God chose to make another person like the man, and yet quite different. This difference is more deeply rooted than obvious physical characteristics. There is also a deeply rooted spiritual difference between man and woman in God’s design. In His creative purpose God made woman, not separate from but out of man. This is highly significant: God formed the man first and allowed him to realize he cannot be fulfilled alone. Then, from the man’s side God made a person who would be capable of relating with him in the most intimate of ways. She comes from the man and is capable of becoming one flesh with him again through sexual intercourse. We hear the man rejoice, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman because she was taken out of Man” (Genesis 2:23). The God inspired author of Genesis makes further application to us: as a result of the spiritual and emotional union between man and wife “a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh” (physical union) (Genesis 2:24).

The woman comes to fulfill God’s stated purpose to give man a “helper” (1:18). This is not a word which refers to an inferior. In fact, the context makes this clear. All of the animals were brought to Adam and he named them, but none was found which fit or “corresponded to” him. Grammatically the Hebrew word ezer (helper) means someone who helps from a position of strength* In the Old Testament the word is used 17 times to refer to God as our helper, and three times to refer to a military ally (Clouse and Clouse, p. 183). So, the helper is strong not weak. If that were not so, how would they offer any real assistance?

There is the sense in which the one who is helped begins an action or is primary in that action. Even when God is our helper, it is we who are responsible for carrying through. But that does not make God inferior to us in any way, does it? God’s function in a helping act is different than the person He is assisting. It is supportive. The one being helped is focused immediately upon the task at hand, while the helper is focused upon the one whom they have determined to help. I believe this is a most fundamental difference between the masculine and the feminine. The difference in the focus of man and woman is a result of God’s design and purpose. While both are responsible equally to fulfill the divine mandate to rule the earth, and both are equal in every way from God’s evaluation of worth, each has a special, God given calling and gift so they may work together to accomplish God’s will .

The man’s focus is in accomplishing God’s command directly: he is task oriented. The woman’s focus is to nurture and sustain the relationships that strengthen and support them. In this way man and wife accomplish God’s will together. Thus, the man follows God’s plan with woman’s nurturing strength to support him, and woman follows God’s plan through supporting man in his responsibility to implement and administer that plan itself. One focus is not more important than the other, but both are seen to further the most worthy goal of maintaining a close relationship with God. This does not preclude a woman or man from filling the function of their mate, rather it emphasizes that God created and gifted each to achieve His will by focusing on equally important tasks or issues.

Unfortunately the relationship between God and humankind was broken and His intended focus for each was distorted. In Genesis chapter three we are greeted with the tragedy of the human race* Both the man and the woman were tempted in their area of weakness and succumbed. Further, the consequences pronounced upon their sin are in line with their differing functions in the created order. The traditional curses of Genesis chapter 3:14-19 are not so much curses, as natural results of the fall that must be endured by humankind (Clouse and Clouse, p. 40).

The tragedy unfolds as the Serpent tempts Eve who succumbs and gives the fruit to Adam to partake. After he sins, both their eyes are opened, and they seek to hide from God. The first pair failed in their collective responsibility (to be obedient to God), and perverted their special gifts. Eve was supposed to help nurture their relationship so that they would be whole and strong to do God’s will. Instead she disobeyed God’s will and helped Adam to sin. She became an idol, and the man willingly bowed to worship. Adam should have focused on doing God’s will, ensuring that they kept His command and pursued His purpose. Instead, he failed to disagree with the serpent or correct his wife’s sinful decision — which he clearly knew to be wrong (Genesis 2:17), and was likely responsible for sharing with his wife (Genesis 3:2-3).

When God pronounced judgment and the consequences of Adam and Eve’s sins follow a familiar pattern. The result of Eve’s sin is the fall of woman in the area of relationships. The result of Adam’s sin is the fall of man in the area of doing the work.

Eve is told that two major consequences will abide as a result of her sin: 1) the pain of childbirth will be increased, and 2) although her desire will be for her husband he will rule over her. I do not believe the multiplication of pain in bearing children refers to physical birth alone, but to the whole responsibility of the mother in raising children from bearing them in her body onward. From this we are not to infer that the husband’s responsibility to raise their children is lessened. Rather, the mother will be naturally primary, and her responsibility will be painful at times. The second part of the curse (or result of the Fall) is that her relationship to her husband will become one of subordination. Whereas the intent of God was for the man and woman to rule together, with the woman providing the emotional and relational strength and the man providing the specific direction to achieve God’s purpose, now the man will extend his natural dominance over his wife.

Adam’s consequence for following his wife into sin is complication in achieving the divine mandate to subdue the earth. Now the ground will be cursed and his work will be frustrating and unfulfilling at times. Work itself is not the curse, since in 2:15 God gave Adam responsibility to tend the garden. Instead, the curse makes man’s work in following God’s will and achieving any intended purpose more difficult. This is true because man has chosen independence from God by virtue of putting self will above God’s will. This was Satan’s sin, so man is now deformed into the likeness of God’s supreme enemy. Now there is an ongoing civil war between what the man knows to be right and what he desires to achieve for himself.

This same civil war is present in the woman as well: “Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you” (Genesis 3:16b), The woman’s natural empathy for the man will now be perverted as a result of their fall, and a selfish desire for him will seek to replace it. She wants to possess him, and to control him. “That’s my man.” This is further frustrated by his natural strength and dominance over her. Prior to the fall the woman’s gift was to unselfishly give strength to the man by providing emotional and relational support to him out of love for God, and a love for her husband with a view to enabling God’s overall purpose on the earth to be accomplished. Now woman will battle with a sinful tendency to seek fulfillment of her desires first, and suffer frustration when the man wields his strength and authority in the relationship to achieve his desires and goals instead. Competition replaces consideration; selfishness replaces love. The woman is designed to empower and enable the accomplishment of God’s will, but now she is driven to seek self will, or her understanding of her family’s good above God’s will, which is the only true good. This is not God’s perfect plan. It is the sinful arrogance of people, beginning with Adam, and Eve, which has attempted to thwart the plan. However, God was not taken by surprise; in fact, from the beginning He made a way for man to return to the intent of creation. Thanks be to God, it would be through Jesus Christ (Genesis 3:15, Romans 7:25).

In summary, the creation account teaches us that both man and woman make up humankind. God created both man and woman in His own image with inestimable and equal worth. God intended for both man and woman to participate in achieving His will for them and the earth: in that they would each be involved with being fruitful, multiplying, filling, ruling and subduing the earth. Together they were to fulfill that purpose and each was given a special gift and focus through God’s design of their gender specific natures: the woman from her gift in nurturing and maintaining their relationships, and the man in determining goals for achieving and maintaining God’s will and plan. There is no sense of male domination until the Fall, at which time domination becomes a sad consequence — a reality easily observed throughout human history. Finally, the consequences of their sin also followed the difference in their natures.

Sayonara Nissan!

“For I have known them all already, known them all:
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?”
From The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S. Eliot

Now I will measure my ministry in Nissans.
-Pastor D

Throughout my time at this church there have been some hard times, and many of those have been related to money, or the lack of it. But I’ve always had a nice car to drive. I’ve had a 16 year relationship with Nissan that, it appears now will end. The “why” is inexplicable. NMAC (Nissan’s finance company) simply will not offer the same loyalty lease deal they’ve given me since 1999. This is strange since I’ve leased FIVE cars from them. Oh, well, Sayonara Nissan!

This has brought me to evaluate what’s happened in our church during that time period. I can chart the changes that have taken place by going from Nissan to Nissan.

1999 Nissan Maxima
It all began in 1999. That’s when I got my first ever new car. It was a black Nissan Maxima with tan leather interior. Prior to this I had always purchased used cars, most of them were just transportation, nothing special. In 1999 Nissan advertised a lease deal on their Maxima. I had a friend who drove one and spoke highly of it. The six cylinder engine Nissan put in these had a good reputation for power and reliability. Additionally, this was the only large, four door passenger car with a standard transmission. So, in February of 1999, I started driving a Maxima. I really liked it.

I was youth minister at this time, and, of course, I wanted to show off the new car. One Sunday night a group of teenagers and youth volunteers came over to my apartment after church. We were practicing a skit for the following week. One of the adults was playing on my computer and suggested we go to Dunkin Donuts. It was late by then, but the donut shop is open 24hrs. A group of us piled into the new Maxima, and, well, the rest is history.

There were a lot of police cars at Dunkin Donuts that night. Being the responsible adult that I was, I noted the time (around 1:00 AM) and told everyone we needed to get back to the apartment. I thought everyone was over 17 (curfew would have been midnight for anyone younger), but honestly I wasn’t sure. On our way back a couple of the teens in my car wanted me to see a statue at a local “Buddhist temple” (it’s still there, and I really don’t know what religion they are, but that’s what we called it). I agreed, but had to make a (legal) u-turn to get to the street where they said I could see a statue sitting in the middle of a man-made pond. When we got there you couldn’t see anything because the fence was covered in plastic. I didn’t let anyone get out of my car, and we pulled away.

Two of Garland’s finest pulled us over as I turned onto the next street. The end result was a false arrest and my new car getting dented by the police as they wrestled with an adult passenger. The car was impounded overnight. I hadn’t had it for two weeks at that point. Btw, if you want to learn more about this incident, which is quite relevant and informative relative to bad police, you can read it here http://wp.me/p42WJH-f

As a result of this incident, my reputation was damaged, far more seriously than the new car. The pastor of the church where I served as a minister at the time stated that he planned to make my position part-time by the summer. This necessitated a change, whether I was ready or not.

On occasion prior to this incident I had considered the possibility that God might one day call me to start a church. In fact, I had even discussed this with some of the very volunteers who had been over at my apartment that fateful night. I believed I saw the need to craft a church to reach those who were unreached by traditional churches. When I broached the topic with the pastor of the church were I served, he was in favor of the idea, so much so that he facilitated its implementation.

On July 4th, 1999 we started a brand new church called City of Refuge. Our first worship service was held a a local park called 111 Ranch. The idea behind the name and the church related directly to the incident that precipitated its existence: a City of Refuge is a place where those who are presumed guilty can be free of judgement.

We met for small group Bible study in a house that doubled as the pastor’s residence, dubbed “the Baltimore house” from the street it occupied. We met for worship in the ballrooms of hotels, in parks and wherever we could find space. We spent a great deal of time, energy and money putting on a dramatic outreach called House of Judgement. This had begun many years earlier and was at its peak at this point.

2002 Nissan Maxima
My lease on the ’99 Maxima was up in 2002. If memory and my calculation is accurate it was the summer of that year when I leased a 2002 Maxima. NMAC (Nissan Motor Acceptance Corp) was kind enough to recognize my responsible payment history and pre-approve me with tier one financing without a credit application. Good thing, because I’d been through a lot of difficulty by that time.

911 had happened the previous year, and the entire nation had begun to change. Our church was changing too; many things had happened and not all of them good. Some key leaders who I had been mentoring left the church, and not all of them continued to live for Christ. In fact, I discovered that some of them had been hypocrites all along. To make things worse, these young men whom I’d spent many years teaching were saying some pretty awful things behind my back. I felt betrayed.

On December 2nd of 2002 something happened to me that continues to have a serious impact on my daily life. In the morning I woke up to a beautiful, sunny day. By 1:00pm I had lost the hearing in my right ear and was experiencing severe vertigo. I lay in bed for a week, unable to move without becoming dizzy and nauseous. To make things worse, I suffer from tinnitus; when the right ear went deaf, the ringing in it didn’t go away but increased until it was nothing less than torment. I went to several doctors, but none could help me. Eventually the vertigo subsided, but I am still deaf in my right ear to all but the loudest of outside noise. The ringing is continuous and as loud as normal conversation, which I am able to hear in my left ear. This is a constant drain on my energy as I strain to pay attention and make out what people are saying.

The church was not able to pay me a full salary and I was unable to find a full-time job to supplement the erratic income. Let’s just say, as my reputation had been damaged at the beginning, so now my credit had been damaged too. This was a dark, depressing time, and I was very grateful for my car. Everything else seemed to be falling apart, but at least I had something nice to drive.

At this time I was living with a member of our church. He had an old Geo Metro sitting behind his garage. It was an ugly, turquoise, three cylinder buzz box. However, I remember thinking that maybe I should try to buy that car instead of leasing another new one. It would have saved money. My pride got the better of me, and the Lord was merciful and gracious. Even so, I still wonder if I should have humbled myself (further) by trying to buy that car. This is all the more thought provoking when I consider my present situation. We’ll return to that at the conclusion.

In 2002 all of our church meetings were held at an old movie house called the Ridgewood Theater. We had begun to renovate the facility, but discovered many things that needed to be addressed. We continued to produced House of Judgement here. Additionally, I wrote and we produced plays for Christmas and Easter. Many people came to our theatrical events, but in spite of this numerical success, our worship service attendance was quite modest. One reason was, we discovered that the building we were leasing had no heat. Winter worship services were very cold indeed, especially since they were held on Sunday nights. I am sure there were significant spiritual reasons that trumped this problem, not the least of which was a need for more faith.

The Lord led me through a time of discovering, learning, applying and leaning on the promises he has for his people in the Bible. When God makes a promise you and I must hear it and heed it. We must have faith in God as a good and loving Father who will fulfill His promises, even when circumstances don’t support what we believe God is saying. I saw many amazing promises about me and our church during this period, but there was little happening to validate them. I still believed.

At this time I wanted us to move on from being the City of Refuge to become a city set on a hill for all to see, like Jerusalem. I wanted our church to take hold of the promises God has offered his people. Often the name Zion is attached to those promises in the Old Testament. It was another name for the city of Jerusalem and represented God’s people. That seemed like an amazing name, which had an ancient origin and resonance in the culture of 2002. We officially became Zion Church in February of 2002— three years after the incident that moved me to start City of Refuge.

I remember after picking up the new Maxima I preached a sermon on faith, and illustrated it by playing a scene from Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. In the scene Yoda is teaching Luke Skywalker how to be a Jedi when Luke’s X-Wing fighter sinks into a swamp right before their eyes. Yoda inspires Luke to attempt to use the Force to raise the ship from beneath the mire, but the apprentice Jedi fails. Why? Yoda easily raises the ship, then an astonished Luke Skywalker puts his hand out and touches it as he says, “I, I can’t believe it.” Yoda responds, “And that is why you fail.” Most of those who were at church the night I used this illustration were aware of our difficulties financially. I encouraged them to resolve their own problems by putting complete faith in a good and loving God who promises and provides for His children. Then I told them to go outside and touch the car I believed God had provided. I had parked it next to the entrance to our meeting place.

2002 was also the year that we began to have a real youth ministry again. Until that time, the church was populated with so many (older) teenagers that it seemed the entire congregation was a youth group. However, we needed a dedicated ministry to junior high and high school students. Craig Wilson had graduated from Baylor and returned to Garland. When asked, he responded to the call and began to lead our small youth group.

2006 Nissan Altima SE-R
My lease on the ’02 was up by 2006 and I really didn’t like the body style of the latest Maximas. A salesman talked me into a limited edition Altima, called the SE-R. It had a lot of the features of Nissan’s 350Z, and that sold me. Of all the Nissans that I leased, that Altima is the only one I would have purchased at the end had they offered a good enough deal (which they didn’t). In fact, in my present situation I’ve considered buying one. They made a limited number in 2005 and 2006 and they’re hard to find, but who knows? Once again Nissan offered pre-approved credit and a really good deal, and once again this is something I wouldn’t have qualified for on paper. Credit bureaus are not forgiving entities. So, I praised God for the blessing.

By 2006 we were a very different church. Young people grow up and move on. They change, their needs change, and they are impatient for things around them to change. From 1999 to 2006 we lost and gained many people. The church retained a small core of strong leaders. Yet, instead of being a church comprised largely of 16-22 year olds, we now embraced a much broader age range.

I officiated the weddings of a number of our leaders in 2005 and ‘06. We had transformed from a church of mainly singles into a church with increasing numbers of families. We had a growing number of youth by this time due to the leadership of Craig Wilson, who now had a wonderful wife to help him. Craig married Rachel in 2005.

Also, I met and began to mentor a young person in Craig’s group named Aaron Cloud. The first thing this 14 year old kid told me was that he wanted to be a pastor some day. So, I believed I needed to teach him. This was the first time I’d spent any significant amount of time with a young teenager since we started the church.

We moved to downtown Garland in 2004, where we met at the Main Street Coffee House initially. Later we leased space from a Seventh Day Adventist church (which worked out because they worship on Saturdays). Soon we began worshiping on Sunday mornings, which was, in part, an effort to meet the needs of families with young children. However, I also think we had become more comfortable with being a church. There is an element of tradition behind church. People (especially in our part of the country) expect churches to meet for worship on Sunday morning; we had probably come to share that expectation. At times we’ve tried to revive Sunday evening services, usually as an option in addition to Sunday morning, but this has been largely unsuccessful.

2006 was the last year we produced House of Judgement. The next year one of our founding members passed away suddenly from cancer. Chuck Tomasek was a dedicated youth worker and tireless volunteer for every dramatic production we did. We have missed him greatly.

2009 Nissan Maxima
NMAC made their usual loyalty offer and I turned the Altima in for a new Maxima. The body style had changed and I liked it much better. However, Nissan no longer had a manual transmission option, which I missed. This was the most luxurious car I’ve had the privilege of calling my own.

By this time the church considered downtown Garland home. For a year we sublet space from the Garland Opry in one of the oldest buildings in downtown Garland. It is right on the Square at the corner of Sixth and State. In 2009 we leased it on our own and that’s where we remain.

The church continued to grow in diversity, even if our numbers remained relatively small. What began as an outreach to young people had now become a church for people of all ages. That is not to say we had lost our youth appeal. In fact, due to the long and hard work of Craig Wilson our youth group comprised half of our typical Sunday morning worship attendance. We funded large numbers of teenagers to attend camp each year and had to rent a 55 passenger bus to get them there.

It was during this lease that I met and began to mentor three teenagers, two brothers and their friend. I’ve never come close to going over on the number of miles allotted me under a lease contract, but I added many additional miles to the ’09 Maxima picking these kids up and driving them around. For the first time, I had to be cautious about how much I drove! I spent more time and money on these kids than any I’ve worked with, and I’ve worked with many young people. I’m not boasting; rather, I’m disappointed, in them, in myself. At first, they seemed to be receptive to what I taught them, and I was happy to spend the time and energy investing in their lives. As time went on, however, they each continued to get into trouble at school, to become less and less interested in Christian faith, and to become increasingly immoral. I persevered, but all they did was take advantage of my willingness to give them rides and buy them meals. The jury is still out on these kids because they haven’t yet reached maturity. I hope they are open to the Lord as he seeks to correct them by bringing on the consequences of their poor choices. Far more than that, I hope they each have a change of heart before they wreck a significant portion of their young lives.

We began leasing the upper floor in our building in 2010 to provide space for children and youth. One of our members left shortly before this because he and his wife determined that we didn’t have enough space for their kids. I have always tried to make certain that we provide for children, even if, as a single man, some have assumed that I am not concerned about our kids. Honestly, nothing infuriates me more than this misperception.

During this time period I moved to downtown Garland, first living in some new apartments that were a block away from the building our church leases, then moving above the church so that we can continue to afford the space for our kids. I was able to move out after about a year, but have had to move back in for the last two years to keep us in the space.

Our church has sought to be visible and active in downtown Garland. We have an entry in the Labor Day parade, pass out free hot chocolate during Christmas on the Square, and I participate in the Downtown Business Association. Downtown is changing and we are here for that reason.

2012 Nissan Altima
On February 14 of 2012 I turned the ’09 Maxima in early and started driving another Altima. This was strictly a financial decision. The dealership called me to take the car early, and I asked them to give me a deal with a lower payment. This has been a good car, but nothing exciting. In two weeks I’ll turn it in and not look back.

After a decade as Zion Church, I led us to change the name again. This time it was not because of changes in our church so much as changes in the world around us. The name Zion didn’t have the same cultural resonance as we sensed in the early 2000’s. Islamic extremism, cults and general misunderstanding by some older people led me to pray about a new name. Zion’s motto was “Spirit and Truth”; it came from the narrative of Jesus and the Samaritan Woman. She had asked him where someone should worship, and Jesus responded: “those who worship God must worship in Spirit and in Truth. Lifewell comes from the same story. Jesus told the woman that if she asked, he could give her water that would become in her a well of water springing up to eternal life (4:11 & 14). Later in John, the Lord promised that He would give water that would become “streams of living water flow(ing) from within” (John 7:38). These streams of water are identified as the Holy Spirit. “By this he meant the Spirit, whom those hwo believed in him were later to receive” (John 7:39). So, we seek to preach Jesus in order to bring that living water to people. The Holy Spirit will live within anyone who will believe in and receive and call on Jesus to save them. Therefore, not only do we receive life, but we become channels of that life for others.

Our church revised it’s founding documents, and, most importantly, it’s mission statement. The new mission statement contains phrases from each of the previous phases of the church:
City of Refuge, Zion and now Lifewell.
It reads:

Lifewell Church is called out to be a refuge, worshiping God in the Spirit and in truth, reaching the unreached with the Gospel and learning to live well through faith in
Jesus Christ.

I thought the church would experience numeric growth after we made this very significant change. We have not, yet. We have continued to persevere and mature. We have been tested and tried. People have left the church and gone on to larger congregations. But those who remain will be blessed, I believe. Indeed they already have been.

Our leaders began having children, and I have become like a grandparent. I love these kids. Although I’ve always been concerned about the kids who come to our church, I’ve not interacted with them. Over the last several years all that changed. The biggest change came when Craig and Rachel’s daughter Jubilee began to talk, and talk to me! Then they had Asher. I’ve never held a toddler who likes me as this boy does. Now all the kids like me. Dean and Tasha’s daughter Maddy asks many questions about Jesus, Ransom talks to me and shows me his toys. I love these kids. I really do.

I believe the church is in its basic final form, but there are still changes, improvements and growth coming.

Sayonara Nissan!
Well, Nissan didn’t offer me a new lease this time, and no one with NMAC can tell me exactly why. Loyalty is not rewarded any longer, it would seem. I believe in Providence, however, that God is working all things together for my good. There is a reason for this and I am seeking to discover it. There is a path to take and I am searching for it. I’m sure that’s the main reason I’ve spent all day writing this overview of our church’s history. I want to know where to go and what to do next, and that is not just a concern for what I’ll be driving in two weeks when this lease is up.

Regret is a terrible thing. We cannot change the past. There are plenty of things I’d do differently in leading our church. “Hindsight is 20/20,” as the cliche’ goes. However, I believe in a God of second chances; indeed, He offers many chances. He forgives the past when we confess, and He offers us a new future. So, here I am in a similar position to 2002 when I thought about trying to buy that old Geo Metro. This time, it appears, I don’t have the option to just slip into another new car. I checked on a Honda yesterday, and even after 14 years my credit is not tier one. Credit Bureaus are not forgiving. The initial offer before they checked my credit was great, then they came back and upped the lease price by TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS A MONTH. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer, and that, my friend, is an established fact. Our financial system is at fault for this. I’ve paid my car payment on time every single month for three years. I’ve never missed a payment in 16 years. I’ve paid off a student loan after 30 years. None of that matters, apparently. At least, not enough to elevate my credit to the status it was in 1999.

Providence. What is God saying? What is God preparing to do? I’ve been unwilling to humble myself by driving an old car again because I have so little in my life the looks anything like achievement. At least a new car spoke of some degree of success. Now what? Honestly, I’ve told the Lord that I’ll drive a used car again. I’m certainly not going to pay the ridiculous interest they want to charge me to lease or buy right now. But what does God want? What is His will? I doubt that I was supremely concerned about that in the financial area back in 2002. Perhaps this is a test. Well, I will drive anything He wills. My pride is withering quickly.

Most importantly, I will go anywhere, and I will do anything the Lord calls me to. I have almost no debt at this point. I may have to take a loan from my annuity to buy a car, but technically that’s not debt because it’s my money. Without debt I’m free to do what the Lord wills without restraint. So, exactly what is that? Where do we go from here, God…?

“Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head (grown slightly bald) brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet — and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.”
-T.S. Eliot, Prufrock