Tag Archives: faith

Never Take Revenge

“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’ To the contrary, ‘if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:19–21, ESV)

We are living in a revenge culture. Witness the ever present “revenge porn” found online. It seems everywhere I turn, whether to those on the Right or Left, there are people angry at something someone has done to them (real or imagined).

A very visible example at the moment is the murder of Charlie Kirk, a Conservative debater, speaker and organizer. He was a gentle, but unrelenting and persuasive, even provocative promoter of Conservative political ideas. He was also an outspoken and unapologetic Bible believing Christian. He had great impact on college campuses, most of which have become bastions of Leftist ideals. He made enemies on the Left, and one of them murdered him in cold blood in the middle of one of his college appearances in Utah. This is likely seen as revenge by many of his political opponents and detractors, who hated him for what he stood for. I was not a Charlie Kirk fanboy, but I did appreciate his incisive and intelligent answers to college students who asked questions at his meetings. In the wake of Charlie’s murder, what should his friends and followers do? 

What would Charlie do?

I don’t believe Charlie Kirk would seek revenge. He would seek to dialog with those who approve the actions of his assassin. That’s what he always did: have a conversation; ask questions; speak truth. 

What would Jesus do?

Pray for the assassin. Offer forgiveness. Show undeserving love to those who celebrate this evil act.

What I see is Conservatives rejoicing over people losing their jobs because of impulsive social media posts. If you’re a Christian, a real one who follows Jesus, stop. Pray for these people.

What should genuine Christians do when we are the recipients of evil and injustice?

Leave it to the wrath of God. God is love, AND God is just. Only almighty God can dispense perfect, righteous justice to those who perpetrate evil. 

“It is appointed for everyone once to die, and then comes judgment” (Heb. 9:27)

“We must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil” (2 Cor. 5:10).

My anger doesn’t achieve God’s righteousness (James 1:20)

Jesus took upon himself the entirety of Almighty God’s righteous wrath against sin at the cross. As a result, anyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved from that wrath, saved from eternal destruction in hell. “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom. 8:1).

Since I have been forgiven by God, I am commanded to offer forgiveness to anyone who has offended or harmed me. I am not justifying their hatred, harm or sin. I am giving them over to God. I will not take revenge. However, if that person rejects Christ and clings to their evil, they will pay the penalty for what they’ve done to me and others. It is imperative that we who claim Christ as our Lord, act like it. We must act like Jesus. 

I saw a video of a march honoring Charlie Kirk the night of his death. An individual rode through it on an electric scooter (I believe) shouting disrespectful remarks. A mob knocked him off the scooter and began beating him. That is exactly what Jesus forbids. That is what Paul is speaking against. That did not honor Charlie Kirk. In fact, it plays right into the hands of his Leftist detractors, making them feel justified in their hatred.

At the root of revenge culture is self-righteousness. I am good; I am right; you are wrong; you have offended and harmed me, so I will harm you back. Justice demands an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, so I will poke out your eye or knock out your teeth. The trouble with this is, “there is none righteous, not even one” (Rom. 3:10/Psa 14:3), so I am hypocritical to hit back in anger. Revenge never ends. Soon enough we find ourselves in a blind and toothless world. 

In reality, you may be right and I may be wrong, but only God can condemn anyone. However, the good news is: “there is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom. 8:1). So, we all need to get right with God by receiving Jesus as Lord and Savior. My response to being offended and harmed must be love. Jesus gave practical application to this command to love your enemy.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.” (Matthew 5:38–42, ESV)

Jesus tells us how to overcome evil with good: Love your enemies.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Matthew 5:43–48, ESV)

So, “Love your enemies and drive ‘em nuts!”

MANdate

Four things men are made to be and do from Genesis 2.

1. Protect & Serve

The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the LORD God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.
Genesis 2:15-17 (NIV)

עָבַד
ʽâbad

1) to work, serve
1a1) to labour, work, do work
1a2) to work for another, serve another by labour
1a3) to serve as subjects
1a4) to serve (God)
1a5) to serve (with Levitical service)
Part of Speech: verb

Men are made for meaningful work.

Without meaningful work the mind and hands of a man wander
into evil places.

Without meaningful work a man will become depressed.

Men are made to serve.

Self serving behavior will always lack fulfillment for a man.

Men are no good without a Master.

Without a Master we are rogue warriors,
ronin,
angry, violent, unfulfilled troublemakers.

A man works to serve his wife,
but she is not his Master.

A man works to serve his children,
but they are not his Master.

A man works to serve his friends, his church, his neighbors, humankind, but none of these is his Master.

A man must submit to worthy superiors,
but no man is worthy enough to be the Master.

Jesus Christ is the Master.

שָׁמַר
shâmar
1) to keep, guard, observe, give heed
1a1) to keep, have charge of
1a2) to keep, guard, keep watch and ward, protect, save life
1a2a) watch, watchman (participle)
1a3) to watch for, wait for
1a4) to watch, observe
1a5) to keep, retain, treasure up (in memory)
1a6) to keep (within bounds), restrain
1a7) to observe, celebrate, keep (sabbath or covenant or commands), perform (vow)
1a8) to keep, preserve, protect
1a9) to keep, reserve
1b) (Niphal)
1b1) to be on one’s guard, take heed, take care, beware
1b2) to keep oneself, refrain, abstain
1b3) to be kept, be guarded
1c) (Piel) to keep, pay heed
1d) (Hithpael) to keep oneself from
Part of Speech: verb


Men are made to keep watch and protect.

Men must first guard their hearts from evil, duplicity and temptation.

“Guard your heart,
for from it flow the springs of life”
(Proverbs 4:23).

A man must watch over his own attitude and behavior.

“Watch the path of your feet
And all your ways will be established”
(Proverbs 4:26, NASB).

A man must watch his mouth.

“The one who guards his mouth preserves his life;
The one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin”
(Proverbs 13:3).

Only after he has guarded himself from evil is a man capable to protect his family and friends.

It is precisely at this point that Adam failed Eve,
and we are the worst for it.

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.
Genesis 3:6 (NIV)

Adam failed to guard his wife.

Instead of watching over her, he just stood by and watched the devil take her captive with lies.

Men of God, you must not follow Adam!

Protect your wife, your family and your friends
by speaking the truth in love
(Ephesians 4:15).

This may make you unpopular in your home or with your friends, but they will thank you in the end.

Of course, this assumes you’ve disciplined yourself to learn the truth of Christ and live by it.

2. Decide & Lead

“Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.
Genesis 2:18-19 (NIV)

Men are made to define, determine, make decisions.

It is not a lack of intelligence which keeps a man from making a decision, but a lack of determination and courage.

A man lacks determination who believes strongly in nothing beyond himself.

Our problem right now is too many men have grown up without strong Christ centered fathers and grandfathers.

We live in a world filled with pusillanimous boy-men.

Pusillanimous
Pu`sil*lan”i*mous\, a. [L. pusillannimis; pusillus very little (dim. of pusus a little boy; cf. puer a boy, E. puerile) + animus the mind: cf. F. pusillanime. See Animosity.]

1. Destitute of a manly or courageous strength and firmness of mind; of weak spirit; mean-spirited; spiritless; cowardly; — said of persons, as, a pussillanimous prince.

2. Evincing, or characterized by, weakness of mind, and want of courage; feeble; as, pusillanimous counsels. “A low and pusillanimous spirit.” –Burke.

Syn: Cowardly; dastardly; mean-spirited; fainthearted; timid; weak; feeble.

Where are the real men?

Where are the men of God?

Men, we must submit to the Son of God,
and His Father will become our own.

Then we will begin to be what we were meant to be.

Men are meant to lead.

“For Adam was formed first, then Eve”
(1st Timothy 2:13).

The leader goes first to chart the course.

The leader goes first to protect those following him.

The leader offers the first and the best to God.

The leader is first to look after the needs of his followers, and last to meet his own needs and desires.

“Rather, let sthe greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves”
(Luke 22:26, ESV).


“Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven”
(Matthew 18:4).


“The greatest among you shall be your servant”
(Matthew 23:11, ESV).

As an example, the husband is called to love his wife sacrificially,
“as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her”
(Ephesians 5:25).

A Christlike leader never strives to focus attention on himself.

A Christlike leader makes no selfish demands.

A Christlike leader doesn’t have to enforce his leadership with threats of force or pleading for obedience.

A Christlike leader is first of all a follower.

“Follow me as I follow Christ”
(1 Corinthians 11:1).

If you will not follow, you will be a poor leader.

Jesus Christ is our role model, men.

He is everything we are supposed to be.

Make the decision to follow the One who called himself
“Son of Man”
starting right now.

No Fear!

“for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:3–7, ESV)

The word translated fear may mean cowardice, and it is the opposite of faith (ie. confidence).

It is possible that this was Timothy’s weakness. In the natural he was a timid soul. The Apostle was reminding his son in the faith that he was not alone (even apart from Paul’s presence) the Spirit of Almighty God lived within the young man.

There may a tendency to think of Christians as weak, fearful of conflict, having Father Mulcahey (MASH) or Ned Flanders (Simpsons) temperaments. What my natural temperament is, is irrelevant when I’m filled with the Holy Spirit. He makes me confident.

Paul was imprisoned in Rome. Things were not going smoothly in Ephesus, where Timothy pastored. There was opposition to the Gospel, false teaching, persecution from the pagans and the Jews. If Timothy was to survive, he needed to be filled with the Spirit to have the courage to face all of that stress and difficulty. 

When we’re overwhelmed we don’t feel as though we will overcome. I feel like giving in and giving up. Yet I’m called to conquer (Revelation 2-3). In fact, we are promised that we will “overwhelmingly overcome through Christ who loved us” (Romans 8:37)!

The Holy Spirit makes me secure as a child of the Father. A good earthly father imparts strength and confidence to his children. Security and confidence makes me bold and drives away all fear. I know who has my back, He has given me the right to call him Dad.

“The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”” (Romans 8:15, TNIV)

Many are afraid today. The media and those in political power are stirring up hostility and fear. Panic attacks have become commonplace. Many are on medication, use alcohol, or marijuana to keep from being overwhelmed by fear and dread. This is not what a Spirit filled Christian needs or does. 

The devil is the original terrorist. Realize, Satan is a paper tiger, a toothless lion, a defeated foe. Like the defeated Saruman standing in the window of his lofty tower before Gandalf in Tolkien’s LOTR, so our enemy has been defeated by the Lord Jesus Christ, and yet the devil may still speak with an alluring voice and employ enticing lies. We must recognize his schemes and send him away in the name of Jesus Christ.

We are facing an increasingly hostile world. People are rejecting the Bible, and seeking to stop biblical Christians from speaking out. Sharing the Gospel is not seen as Good News by increasing numbers of people in this country. In the midst of this God is calling you and I to be bold: to grow up and speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15), then deal with the consequences. When the Holy Spirit has control you will be courageous. Fear God and you will not fear anything or anyone else (Isaiah 8:13).

Don’t be a coward when you are called upon to defend the truth or the name of Jesus. Don’t go along with the crowd: they are moved by the spirit of anti-Christ. You are not of the same sort, not if you genuinely believe and call on Jesus as your Lord. You are not alone, friend. Jesus promised, “I will be with you always, even to the end of the age.” That is a reality when you are indwelt and endowed with the Holy Spirit of Christ.

Power, love, self-control.

These are not natural attributes that I work up: the Holy Spirit infuses me with all three when He fills me. 

Power.

I need power to resist temptation, which weakens me. power to persevere through personal suffering and through persecution from a world that has turned from Christ, power to maintain sanity and stability in a dark, dangerous, unpredictable world.  Much of what we see today is people seeking power through money, politics and popularity.

People are insecure, and this may be true even though someone is arrogant (the latter is a mask for the former). There’s too much big talk in an effort to gain support, to win, to get money. Yet there is no real power behind the constant boasting and bickering. We want to see something really. Also, I must have power to do the work of ministry effectively. I cannot perform miracles or change people’s lives on my own.

“For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power” (1 Corinthians 4:20). 

I need power to preach the Gospel. The Holy Spirit must anoint and ordain and speak through me or I waste my time and yours. This is why we always give people the opportunity to respond to the message on Sunday. Don’t just sit there and evaluate. Decide. Move. Do.

Love.

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out all fear” (1 John 4:18). When I know I’m loved, I am secure. When I know that God will not allow anything to happen to destroy me, even though I may hurt at times, then I can stand up against anything.

We all need love. Self-love is a surrogate. Love extends away from the self; it doesn’t bend inward. In order to have love I must receive love. Most importantly, I must trust the Father’s love for me. This is the love “God has poured out into our hearts by the Holy Spirit” (Rom. 5:5). Jesus new command gives a new basis for loving others: His sacrificial love for us.

“A new commandment I give to you that you love one another, even as I have loved you” (John 13:34). Christ’s love gives us the example, motivation and strength to love others rather than ignore or fight them.

Self-control. 

This is a special word in Greek, and a much needed character trait.

Barclay writes:

“There was self-discipline. The word is sōphronismos, one of these great untranslatable Greek words. It has been defined as ‘the sanity of saintliness’. In his book on The Pastorals, Sir Robert Falconer defines it as ‘control of oneself in face of panic or of passion’. It is Christ alone who can give us that command of self which will keep us both from being swept away and from running away.

No one can ever rule others without having complete self-control. Sōphronismos is that divinely given control of self which makes people great rulers of others because they are first of all the servants of Christ and in complete control of themselves.”

I really need self-control. Too often I fly off the handle, become enraged on the road, show impatience with my own apparent incompetence and inadequacy. Holy Spirit fill me and grant me this quality! If I cannot or will not lead myself, I cannot lead anyone else. Pray for your pastor in this regard. I need peace and patience, calm confidence and selfless forbearance toward people and situations that irritate and annoy my flesh. I must account the flesh dead and myself reborn in Christ.

Which brings us to today, Ash Wednesday and the season of Lent. This is the perfect time to practice self-control, which fundamentally is the ability to say no to my natural self and yes to the Holy Spirit’s leadership

Return to Fitness 2

It’s been a week since I made the commitment to lose 16lbs by the end of 2017, and I’m happy to report: I’m on target. In fact, I’m slightly ahead. I didn’t starve myself, and I didn’t cheat. I ate a low carb diet, watched the calories and exercised for at least 30 minutes five out of seven days. When I see that I’ ve made measurable progress I am motivated to push harder and go further. So, I’m going to press on beyond the 16lbs after the 1st of January.

My ultimate goal is to get back down to the 7% body fat range with a size 29 waist, which is where I was in 2012 and 2013. Whatever I weigh at that point will be fine. Intitially without much muscle mass increase that will be around 150lbs, which is a good fighting weight for me.

Additionally, I will not drink alcohol more than once per week, and even then it’ll be one craft beer (or similar). I also want to detox on caffeine. The latter is a more daunting challenge. It usually takes around two weeks, during which time I fight headaches. However, I’m convinced that addiction is a bad thing, even if it is to something as harmless as coffee.

“All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything” (1 Corinthians 6:12).

“No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other” (Matthew 6:24).

The first quote is by the Apostle Paul and is in context with sexual matters. The second is from Jesus and references money as it’s primary application: “You cannot serve both God and money.” However, the principle behind both is found in the first commandment, and the Greatest Commandment. The first commandment of the Ten Commandments is: “Do not have other gods besides me.” The second commandment in the Ten is applicable here as well: “Do not make any idols.” Addiciton is an idol. It is a habit or a thing that has taken hold of my will to which I am primarily loyal. When there is a challenge between my addiciton and any other person or thing, even God, I choose the addiction. I love it. The Great Commandment is: “Love the LORD your God with all of your heart, soul, and mind” (Matthew 22:37, where Jesus affirmed the Jewish Shema in Deuteronomy 6:5), and in Luke Jesus adds, “with all of your strength” (10:27). I cannot love God above all when I am loyal to my addiction, even if that’s just coffee.

In the end, I want my heart to be pure and my mind single in love and devotion to Jesus. That’s the goal above all the rest. I hope I can inspire some of the people in my community to pursue the same thing. “I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:14).

Growing Again

I got off track. Okay, that’s a colloquialism, but it’s true. I am a preacher of the Gospel of Jesus, but I got away from my calling to preach Good News. Why? Reasons that I can think of: 1) Disappointment 2) Rejection from people I cared about, 3) Desire for things outside the will of God, 4) Disbelief that God wants to bless me.

Let’s begin with the last first. I’ve tried many things to get God to bless me. Early in my Christian life I made promises that I couldn’t keep. I’ve fasted, both food and other things. I’ve prayed, complained, journaled, read more and more of the Bible, served, given money, offered personal sacrifices. Nothing changes me, and that’s the real issue. I must change, but “a leopard cannot change its spots” and I cannot change my nature.

I’ve come to the realization that what I do and who I am doesn’t matter. It’s who God is that can change, well, everything– even me. That’s the nature of the Gospel. God is good and God loves me (and you) and God has done everything that needs to be done for me (and you) to be blessed and changed. We cannot change our natures, but God will… once we trust his love and goodness enough to permit Him to begin (and continue) that process of transformation.

I was saved many years ago at the age of 16. I made a deal with God that involved nothing more than taking him at his word. I was a lustful, sin sick teenager who heard the message that God loves me and accepts me “just as I am.” I tried to clean up my act, but was not able to measure up. I couldn’t eradicate the lust of my heart. When I heard the Good News that Jesus died for me just as I am to make of me what he wills, then I accepted the offer of life in place of my living death. So, the deal went like this: Lord, I cannot do this on my own; I cannot stop this lust in my heart. If you accept me as I am and you will help me, then you can have my life.

It’s interesting that even many years later I still default to trying to please God by trying to stop lust and sin as a precondition of his blessing. That’s not the deal I made with God, though; or, I should say, that’s not the deal He made with me (and offers everyone in the Gospel). God is good, apart from Him, I am not.

Don’t try to compare yourself to me, though. You might be tempted to say: “Well, I’m better than you. I’m not doing anything that bad.” You might be surprised to find that that isn’t true. Even if it is, Jesus is the example of what a human being is supposed to be, and I assure you, you’re not that good and moral. Or, you might say: “I’m much worse than you. I’ve done horrible things.” You might be surprised to know that God judges the heart above the action, and even when I’ve done nothing externally wrong, my heart is wicked and yearns for things that, even if the world accepts, God hates. So, I may have imagined it but never done it, and you have done it. The difference is whom you’ve hurt in addition to God and yourself, but we’ve both sinned.

The point is: God is good no matter what we’ve done, and he offers to make us right. First, he sees us as good and right, even though we aren’t, because Jesus became our sin and died in our place, debt paid, penalty served. Theologians call this justification or imputed righteousness. What it means is, because of Jesus God sees us as righteous, even while we are still struggling with sin. There are many places where this is taught in the New Testament. For example:

“since all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God; they are now justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,” (Romans 3:23–24, NRSV)

“For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” (2 Corinthians 5:21, NRSV)

This is the basis of the Good News, the Gospel. Yet, although I’ve preached it every week, I still fell short of consistently living like I believed it. Why? Well, I said I had an issue believing that God wants to bless me. That resulted from a guilty conscience as I wrestled with lust and anger and other sin. Formulated into a statement, it would be: How can God love someone who desires this, or who has done that?

It goes deeper, though…

Are you ready for the real confession? I’ve always had a suspicion that God doesn’t really love me. Yes, “God so loved the world,” and I’m part of the world of people he loves. But that seems so general and impersonal. God loves everybody. I’m not disparaging that; I appreciate it. However, it didn’t translate into me feeling God cares about me personally. So, yes, I’ll get into heaven because of Jesus, for God loves the mass of humanity so much that he came and died. But what about “he died for me”? I believe God loves people; I just don’t think he really likes me all that much. Sometimes it feels like he doesn’t want to be around me. So, I feel neglected, sometimes abandoned, even though I’m saved.

I default to that because when we consider God in the natural, we are inclined to understand him to be like our human fathers. My biological father was absent; my step-father was distant. I wanted my step-dad to adopt me, but he wasn’t willing to ask me to take his name. I experienced rejection from both men. Additionally, I could never measure up to my step-father. He was a big man, bigger than life sometimes. I was a scared boy. He tried to help me. We studied karate’ together. He certainly didn’t need this; he did it for me. So, don’t think he was a bad guy; he wasn’t. I’m not disrespecting the man. However, I could never call him “Dad”. I always called him by his first name instead. I could call him my dad to other people, but never to his face. Why? He didn’t ever give me permission to.  Almost no one knows this, but when I was baptized as a teenager, I used my step-dad’s last name. I was looking for a Dad when I came to Jesus. And I found one in God the Father, but I have had a hard time sensing or receiving his love and acceptance.

In the natural I feel rejected, neglected, abandoned, unworthy of affection and incapable of measuring up, even at my age… That is how I’m inclined to feel about God the Father.  As a result, even though my thinking and theology teaches otherwise, I have a proclivity to act like I’m on my own living for God doing ministry for Him. Yes, I’m saved, and yes I’ve got some gifts the Lord has given, but I often feel I have to do it all myself.  This is the reason I’ve become so angry when things don’t work, or situations don’t work out, or when people have abandoned or opposed me.  I just feel like there is no one in my corner to to help me up or fight for me when I’m down. This has created a negative environment at times. And it does not indicate that I have the right quality of faith in the God of Jesus Christ.

However, that has not consistently been the case, and it has begun again to change. God is a good, loving and engaged Heavenly Father and the One whom Jesus gives me the right to call “Daddy.” I’ve begun to sense that once again as I’ve simply chosen to believe it in spite of my own sin.

Last year I began with a fast of several things; in fact, I encouraged our church to do the same. I continued saying “no” to one of these things for many weeks. This didn’t stop my lust, anger and other assorted attitudinal sins, though: only faith has helped.

“These have indeed an appearance of wisdom in promoting self-imposed piety, humility, and severe treatment of the body, but they are of no value in checking self-indulgence.” (Colossians 2:23, NRSV)

The year was not one of growth, at least not on the surface. However, what I began to realize and internalize more deeply than ever is this: God loves me anyway. I’m not saying I believe he loves me and doesn’t care if I become angry or lustful. I’m saying, he loves me in spite of my sin and loves me enough to stay with me and work with me and help me overcome. That is a very big deal.

I’ve known and taught, nearly my whole ministry, that our lives must be God-centered rather than self-centered. Early on, I was profoundly affected by the book Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer. I came to the conclusion that our greatest problem is self-centeredness, and that our greatest pursuit must be God himself, living a God-Centered life.

However, in reading this confession you can detect a lot of self orientation. That’s because knowing something, even teaching it, is not the same as realizing and living by it. That is what has begun to change over the last 6-12 months. Through the typical disappointments and failures, my faith has– are you ready for this?– grown stronger. This has not been the result of me overcoming my weaknesses, but of realizing God’s acceptance of me in the Beloved (in Jesus) IN SPITE OF MY FOOLISHNESS AND SIN.

The covenant I entered with God is the New Covenant, and it is not offered to those who are deserving, good and moral, but to those who recognize they are weak and in trouble. This Agreement with God was inked in blood, but not mine. Jesus signed it when he was crucified. I cannot fail because the New Covenant is in Jesus’ blood. He is the Guarantor. Not me. My part is to agree, to commit my weak self to Him, to open up and let His Spirit enter and do the lifelong work of transformation. I just need to trust Him, instead of myself. “Trust in the Lord wit all of your heart and do not lean on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5). I need to love Him, above myself. “He must increase but I must decrease” (John 3:30).

I fail my Father daily in big and small ways, but Jesus never falls short. His covenant of grace will always remain in place. He will never deny or forsake me. That is the Gospel, and it is very Good News.

What will be the result of this renewed realization? I am okay. I am secure. I am not easily angered or shaken. I will persevere in believing that God will bless and anoint and cause me to succeed in His work. I will not fail. Discouragement, disappointment, anger and doubt are all dissipating, evaporating like the dew when the sun grows warm. Hallelujah!

I am positive of this. It is not self-assurance or delusion, but faith.

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1).

I am convinced. Faith is inherently positive, so I am positive. This will be a challenge in a darkening world filled with bad news, increasingly opposed to Christian faith. However, I am not afraid. I will not shrink back to destruction, but I will persevere in faith to the preserving of my soul in paradise and life eternal (Hebrews 10:39).

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:37–39, NRSV)

Amen.

Sick and Sad 13

Sick and sad,

already broken or

I’d be breaking bad.

But still, 

what if I

took a sabbatical

and tested myself?

Solomon is the example.

He knew that life under the sun

is all vanity, but indulged

only for a moment in pleasure and fun.

All the while he watched 

with his wisdom intact

to discover if

nothing is worth it, in fact.

I know the answer,

as did the wisest man.

But I need to feel

something.

I’ve got to find a way to become

someone.

This tame existence is killing me.

My dreams are dammed up,

my desires are pent up,

and lust must be damned out.

But I’ve got to break free

from this boring little life

before I waste away.

Everyone loves

the Prodigal.

His return was celebrated

his story told and retold,

while the responsible son

tended sheep out in the cold.

I wait and wait and wait and wait,

my heart is sick

from hope deferred

and unfulfilled longing.

When, O when

will I reach the heights

I thought God called me to

back then, at a time when

everything seemed possible.

When can I be fulfilled again?

Over half my life is gone

and still I wait.

I suppose I’ll be like 

Abraham

rather than Solomon.

Restore to me the joy

of my salvation.

Vindication Part 7 MONEY

This is the seventh chapter in a series about 21 years of overcoming conflict and opposition as I’ve tried to learn how to minister and speak the truth in Garland, Texas. You can read the first six parts at www.deorl.wordpress.com or in my notes on www.Facebook.com/deorl.

Money, money, money, if only I had enough money.

I started college in the Fall of 1980. I enrolled in a small Christian school called Grand Canyon College (now a university). It was inexpensive when compared to many other private schools, which is to say it is expensive when compared to most state sponsored schools. I took out student loans to pay for my education. I am still paying off those loans.

I transferred to Baylor University in 1982. It is a magnificent school. It is also quite a bargain when compared to comparable public universities. It remains quite expensive. I’m still paying off those loans as well.

Unless you’re a mega-church pastor with a book deal, you are not going to make a lot of money doing ministry (assuming you stay honest). Until recently I’ve been paying into a retirement account. I started investing small amounts in this annuity when I entered full-time ministry in 1992. I stopped paying into it because I cannot afford it at this time. No big deal, since I wouldn’t be able to retire for even a full year on what’s in the account. Many ministers in the denomination with which our church cooperates cannot retire comfortably.

When I entered seminary I started carrying medical insurance through the denomination. This year I had to stop paying for that too. It was a good policy, but it has become increasingly  cost-prohibitive as I’ve grow older.  To top it off, Blue Cross/Blue Shield will not pay for hearing aids. You can complain all you want about Obamacare, but it had nothing to do with this situation. Something needs to be done for people to be able to afford to go to the doctor.

I’d just enjoy having the funds to to pay the rent on our church building every month. It would be wonderful to be able to support more missions, and start some churches. Ministry requires money.

I refuse to manipulate or take advantage of people in order to collect more donations. I had a worldly-wise member who told me one time: “tend the sheep, milk the goats.” This means use the people who give larger amounts of money, even if they are cantankerous, but focus your energy on those whom you’ve been called to shepherd. The temptation to do this is not a problem for me. People who don’t like me, just leave without further ado, and I don’t go chasing them down.

I will not make visitors feel like they should give. I don’t keep tabs on which members are giving either. This may seem impractical, even foolish. However, many people are turned-off about church and Christianity because of preachers who constantly ask for money.

I do believe in tithing. I didn’t for a long time. I used to think it was legalism. Oh, I gave. I felt like quite the sacrificial youth minister when I would buy things our ministry needed. What I discovered is, that’s not the same thing. I read a book by Robert Morris called The Blessed Life wherein the mega-church pastor demonstrated that the tithe represents giving the first and best to God. Giving the tithe was practiced before the Law of Moses, most notably when Abraham gave Melchizedek a tithe of the spoils he took in a battle (check Genesis 14:18-20). In other words, the tithe is an act of worship, not an attempt to please God by keeping the Law.

My tithing affects the entire church. They don’t realize it, but since the pastor got serious about tithing consistently about 10 years ago, our finances improved remarkably. I also started taking up an offering regularly during the worship service around this same time. Prior to that I’d been known to forget to ask for an offering at times.

We’ve gone through some difficult periods in my church, but God’s always pulled us through. I am grateful. I’d just like to stop having to worry about where the money will come from to pay all of the bills. In the last year and a half I’ve been depressed about this issue many times.

Honestly, I’ve been ready to leave the ministry and do something else. Really. Money problems will burn a minister out fast, and they can end a church. I told God that I’d quit if that’s what he wanted. I told him I’d teach school, or work for someone else, whether in our out of ministry. I just want to do God’s will. If I’m the problem, then remove the problem. No problem.

Every Sunday church attendance is a moratorium on my preaching. One week we have a full house. I preach to challenge or encourage or teach. It seems people are responsive. The next week we have half as many people in attendance. This is depressing, but it’s also a great burden because we have to pay the bills. I wonder, “where is the money going to come from?”

Don’t get me wrong, we have an amazing small core of individuals and families who do all they can to support our church. I have to worry when anyone leaves because it may mean we cannot pay our rent, support a mission, or give as much to the needy. I’d love to pay other ministers in our church who could use some help. This may not happen if people leave for the big church down the street.

So, why do I continue? I believe. I trust God. This will not continue. It cannot. It is a test. Will I, will we, stay faithful, or quit? Will I believe the promises in God’s Word? I am choosing to say yes, even though there are confounding variables and contradictory evidence at times.

Recently we’ve seen a number of people commit their lives to Christ. That is encouraging. Will they keep the commitment? In other words, do they really have faith? That’s not my call. However, it contributes to whether this church will continue to grow. I read a quote by Rick Warren today (I used to discount Rick Warren’s ministry as too unlike ours to be helpful. Actually, I’m just jealous). He spoke to pastors about their churches when he said, “You’re either a Risk taker, a Caretaker, or an Undertaker.” The last two are not good. A Caretaker is just keeping the status quo, keeping the members happy, not doing anything to elicit growth. An Undertaker is shepherding a dying church. Heaven forbid! So, I’ll pray about where and when and how to take risks to bring about growth.

I’ll end with some of those promises.

“Though the fig tree should not blossom

And there be no fruit on the vines,

Though the yield of the olive should fail

And the fields produce no food,

Though the flock should be cut off from the fold

And there be no cattle in the stalls,

Yet I will exult in the Lord,

I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.

The Lord God is my strength,

And He has made my feet like hinds’ feet,

And makes me walk on my high places.”

(Habakkuk 3:17-19, NASB)

“Honor the Lord from your wealth

And from the first of all your produce;

So your barns will be filled with plenty

And your vats will overflow with new wine.”

(Proverbs 3:9-10, NASB)

“Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.”

(Luke 6:38, NASB)

“Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

(2 Corinthians 9:7-11, NIV)

I believe Lord, help my unbelief (and unfaithfulness).